


A Heavy Heart

by coldplayisawesome



Series: A Bright Spark Series [2]
Category: Coldplay - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, M/M, Sequel, teen parents
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-08-23
Updated: 2010-08-23
Packaged: 2017-10-11 05:23:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 44,042
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/108877
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/coldplayisawesome/pseuds/coldplayisawesome
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The sequel to A Bright Spark. Takes place a year after.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Devon stood frozen with the note in his hand. It was morning, but early morning, and Franky was still laying in his bed, dead asleep. A single beam of sunlight fell through the otherwise blocked window and rested neatly on Franky's peacefully unconscious face. Devon watched him silently for a short time, completely in disbelief that this was actually happening.

Every ten seconds a nurse would pester Devon to hurry, because his father was waiting for him outside. The last reminder he received was the most urgent, almost to a frightening point, and so he took one more look at the note. He didn't have time to write another one, especially not with the impatient nurse on his back. Nearly absentmindedly, Devon slipped the paper under Franky's pillow.

"See you later, man," Devon whispered before he left. But he looked back before he was totally gone, and he knew that would be the last time he ever saw Franky.

Devon's father was indeed waiting for him outside, though he didn't seem bothered by the length of time his son had taken to meet him. Devon slid into the car, his bags already packed in the trunk, and just stared at his father. His father stared back, too, and it was almost as if he they were finally reuniting through silence. Devon could tell by the harsh line his father's drawn eyebrows created that his father wasn't all too sure what to make of Devon's new personality. It even seemed as though he thought Devon hadn't changed at all.

Nevertheless, he wasn't in any mood to argue with medical professionals, so after his evaluation of Devon he started up the car and drove off from the hospital. Neither man said a word the entire trip home. The silence was awkward at some points; for Devon it was the most awkward, though for his father it was more displeasing than anything else.

Three hours later, the sun was much higher in the sky- though not quite halfway just yet- as the car slowly pulled into the driveway of a big, blue house. Sitting on the porch was a dark-haired girl, who Devon immediately identified as Kirsten. She was holding a baby in her arms, and Devon guessed that it was probably his nephew. He had heard through letters received from his family and friends that Kirsten had delivered without any severe problems, and that she had also decided to keep the baby and raise it herself, with the help of her parents, of course. Devon hadn't been informed of much else, not even the gender of the baby, but its all-blue wardrobe basically confirmed it to be a boy.

"Hey, look, Ty," Devon heard Kirsten whisper as he walked up the stairs. "It's your Uncle Devon."

"Please, don't start calling me that," Devon groaned. Kirsten looked up and laughed, and it was then that Devon noticed how much she had changed in a year. She looked so much older, and he suspected that it could have been because she was a mother now, though he didn't really know if that meant anything at all.

"Fine, I won't. Don't you want to see your nephew?" She held out her arms and carefully transferred the baby over to Devon. He was oddly surprised at how light the baby was, even though it wasn't surprising considering the baby was only a few months old. "His name is Ty."

"Like Tyler?"

Kirsten shook her head a little, and in a diffident voice said, "Like Tyrone." Devon's face immediately cleared of any and all expressions as he tried to process this information. It took a while, but eventually he returned with a slightly dissatisfied look.

"Oh. Well, at least Ty's not so bad." He looked down at the cute little baby resting in his arms. Ty had a tiny, round nose, big, blue eyes, and jet black curls. Though his analysis was hardly worth anything, Devon guessed that the nose and black hair were Kirsten's, and the eyes and curls were Chris's. Though he wholeheartedly disapproved of Chris's involvement in the creation of the human in his arms, Devon had to admit that the combination of Chris and Kirsten seemed to produce a rather adorable little creature.

As soon as Ty started crying, Devon gave him back to Kirsten, then finally walked inside his house. For the first time in a whole year- a little over a year, technically- he was finally coming home. Once he was standing in front of the doorway, he stopped to breathe in everything that he'd been missing. Every single thing about the place seemed so different and distant to him, and he reasoned that it was probably because he was looking at everything as a different person. He really had changed in the past year, and he sincerely believed it was for the better.

His room was much cleaner than he remembered it being. He suspected that his mother might have one day cleaned it, probably for no real reason other than maybe out of boredom. But he was certainly glad.

It was at this time that Devon felt he was much too excited to be back to even try to get some rest, as he had planned to do, and instead decided that he would go visit Jonathan. He had promised to meet up with Jonathan as soon as he got home, anyway. And he was even more enthusiastic, as Jonathan had informed Devon of some sort of surprise that he had.

When Devon knocked on the door, he didn't really expect Jonathan to answer so quickly. But he did, and for a while they were both speechless. So many memories passed of the last time they had seen each other, the last time they had talked in person, and once the recollections began to die down, Devon and Jonathan shared the hug of old wartime buddies.

"What's the surprise?" Devon asked in his straight-forward manner after he and Jonathan had finished with their big reuniting. Jonathan's face lit up at this, almost as if he had forgotten about it until just now.

"Just a minute, you'll see." It was actually a bit longer than a minute, but as neither of the boys were wearing a watch and they both new it was just a figure of speech, the reality of the amount of time passed was relative.

The door opened, and Devon honestly expected that it would be Penny. But he was deeply let down to find that it wasn't Penny at all. Not even close. It was Chris.

"Hi, Devon," he nervously said. He watched Devon for just a second, then gave a fake smile. "Good to see you're doing well."

"This is the surprise?" Devon asked, unmoved by Chris's appearance. Jonathan nodded.

"Chris lives with us now."

"He lives with you?"

Chris held up his hand to interrupt. "My parents don't like me anymore," he said. "They kicked me out." Devon didn't really care, but he was confused by the smile plastered on Chris's face. Generally, people aren't happy about things like that.

"...Why?" Chris opened his mouth in surprise- actually, like he'd forgotten something, and then he looked to Jonathan, cleared his throat, and puffed up his chest. Devon was growing a little impatient, as he just wanted a plain answer.

"Devon," Chris started, still smiling and sounding rather excited, "I'm gay."

Devon's eyebrows raised further than he thought they ever could, almost buried in his hair, and his eyes widened a lot. Sure, he had known about Chris and Jonathan's past, but he had always sort of thought- or hoped- that they had just been lying or yanking his chain.

"Chris likes coming out to people," Jonathan said. Chris nodded his head in agreement.

"It's fun to see their reactions. Like, I get this," he pointed his finger in Devon's face, "a lot. Actually, most people respond that way. But some people laugh." His mouth twitched a little as he continued, "My parents laughed."

"Are you two still..." Devon trailed off, as he figured they would know what he was talking about. Jonathan shook his head. "So, you have, like, some other... boyfriend or something."

"Uh, not at the moment," Chris said, slightly disappointed. Then there was a short silence, which Jonathan decided to fill in.

"You're not gonna get much else out of him," he said. "He won't even tell me who he likes."

"Because I don't want to jinx it!" Chris exclaimed.

"Yeah, whatever. It's not like I don't already know who."

"Oh yeah?" Chris raised his eyebrows, expecting a lame answer, and Jonathan mocked him.

"James."

Chris bugged his eyes out and shrieked, "Shut up!" His face was turning a bit red, which Devon could see when Chris looked back at him. "Anyway, Jonathan has a girlfriend now."

There was something remarkably similar to relief in Devon's voice as he asked, "Really?"

"Yeah, her name's Angelica," Jonathan replied.

"Is she hot?" Jonathan laughed and shrugged his shoulders.

"I guess." Devon felt it only fair that he should laugh now.

"What do you mean, 'I guess?' Either she's hot or she's not," he said. "Do you think she's hot?"

"I think she's pretty," Jonathan answered. "What does it matter, anyway? It's her personality that I like."

"If you ask me," Chris, who had been practically daydreaming, discreetly said, "she looks quite a bit like Kirsten."

"Chris," Jonathan snapped, as if to say that Chris was being ridiculous. Chris just shrugged and mumbled something about truth.

"Speaking of Kirsten, I assume you saw her at some point?" Chris asked, and Devon nodded. "How's Ty doing?"

"Fine, I guess... why do you care, again?"

"Oh, well, when Kirsten decided she wanted to keep the baby, she also decided that she wanted him to know his dad, so... yeah," Chris replied. "Is she coming over, do you know?"

"No, I don't know."

Suddenly, the door opened, and Penny quickly said, "Chris," and held her hand out, which was holding onto a phone. "It's for you."

Chris grabbed the phone, held it up to his ear, and answered, "Hello?" Then he smiled like mad and chirped, "Hi, James!... No, why?... Yeah, of course... OK, I'll just be waiting outside...Bye!" He turned off the phone, and Jonathan and Devon looked at him expectantly. "James is picking me up and we're going to the mall," he coolly said.

"So, James is gay, too?" Devon asked. Chris nodded. "Interesting."

"Listen, Devon, I know you don't approve," he honestly said. "But I don't care what you think, because this is who I am. Besides, I get teased enough, anyway. I've kinda become immune to it."

"Oh, yeah, a lot of people know about you, huh?"

"Mm-hmm. Oh, but we," he motioned to Jonny, "don't go to ECS anymore. We're going to public school now." He leaned forward a bit and whispered, "It's got a lot better looking guys."

"Well, thank you for letting me know," Devon sarcastically replied. "I was worried."

Chris narrowed his eyes at Devon and Jonathan asked, "Are you going back to ECS?"

Devon gave a dry laugh and said, "I don't think they'll want me back there."

"Good point," Jonathan laughed. "You could come to our school, then."

"Ha! Yeah, and walk around seeing pretty boy here making out with that James kid all the time?" Jonathan twisted up his mouth and Devon's offensiveness. Devon didn't think he was being offensive, though, at least not to Jonathan. He was merely trying to insult Chris. "It'll probably happen, though."

Chris, who'd been staring at the ground, shot his head up. "What, you coming to school with us? Or-" Chris soon realized how embarrassingly dumb he sounded, and his face turned red as he went back to watching his shoes. "I should go get ready."

He abruptly spun around and marched back inside. A silence was left to hang in the air between Devon and Jonathan, but there was nothing weird or awkward about it. In fact, they had encountered many of these types of silences during their friendship, so it was more than normal to both of them.

Instead, Devon silently vented to Jonathan, who seemed to nod every now and then. It was possible that Devon was just imagining this, but it made him feel better, like Jonathan was actually listening.

"So, why don't you two go to ECS anymore?" Devon asked to break the silence.

"Well, my mum can't afford to send me now that my father's gone. She got a job, but it doesn't pay nearly enough," he replied, sighing a bit. "And Chris's parents are off pretending he doesn't exist, so."

Much to his dismay, Devon felt a little bad hearing Jonathan talk about Chris, and he even considered referring to his emotion as sympathy. "It's tough for him?"

"Yeah. He doesn't like to show it, but I know he doesn't have it easy, and he takes a lot of crap for being so open about it."

"Then why is he? So open about it, I mean. He doesn't have to tell people."

Jonathan shrugged. "But he hates hiding it. More than he hates people disliking him."

The door opened again, and Chris returned his presence to the other two boys. In the amount of time that he had been missing, he'd managed to change his outfit into something he found more suitable- a nice, plain black shirt that was skin-tight. Devon cringed a little at the sight of it.

"So," Chris said. "Anything interesting happen while I was gone?"

"Yeah," Devon sneered, "Jon decided that he was going to convert to Hinduism, and then a giant meteor fell from the sky and killed us all."

Chris didn't say anything to Devon, but he turned to Jonathan and said, "Jay, you killed us with your religion."

"I'm sorry," Jonathan laughed. There was suddenly an engine sounding behind the boys, and Chris craned his neck to see past Devon.

"Bye, guys!" he spewed before sprinting to the car that was in the driveway. Along the way, he nearly lost his balance and tripped over one of the loose rocks lining the grass, but was luckily spared of any physically damaging embarrassment.

He was in the car so quickly that it almost looked like he slid right through the door. James blinked at the solid phantom, who was beaming and spilling enthusiasm all over the interior of the car. Then he flashed a smile of his own, and casually said, "Hey."

"Hey!" Chris excitedly repeated. He quickly looked around, searching for the perfect thing to say out of a long list of potential candidates. "Thanks for inviting me."

"Well, thank you for coming along." Chris nodded happily, and within seconds they were bustling down the road in James's dirty old car. It was a hand-me-down from his parents, but it still worked fine, even if it didn't look so appealing on the outside.

The mall was filled with people, as expected, but not filled to the point of suffocation. There were enough people in there that it was certainly not empty, but also enough that Chris was able to skip and spin around without hitting anyone. James walked behind him, laughing at Chris's ridiculous bubbliness, all the while being thoroughly entertained.

They stopped in one of the stores nearby, a clothes store meant specifically for teens who tried to look much cooler than they actually were. They mostly went in there to ridicule the place.

"Wait," James said, raising his hand to stop Chris from taking off the hat he was wearing. "That actually doesn't look half-bad."

"Seriously?" Chris laughed, blushing a little.

"Yeah..." James turned to his side, where a rack of scarves was resting. He picked out a long, black one and carefully examined it. Chris watched him, and was somehow surprised when James moved forward and wrapped the scarf around Chris's neck. He tried to control his breathing while James was so close, but he was having immense difficulty doing so.

Once the scarf was securely around Chris, James moved and steered Chris over to the nearest mirror. "What do you think?" he quietly asked.

Chris tried his hardest to focus on his own reflection and not James's. "Ehh, I don't know," he indecisively replied. He turned his head to the side, as if that would better his view of the hat, and couldn't help noticing that his cheeks were rather red.

"You should get 'em," James said. Chris made an uninterested noise, and James tilted his head to the side and narrowed his eyes. "I'll buy them for you."

"No, you don't have to do that." Chris turned and realized just how close James was standing. "Really, I'm just not sure that I like it."

"Nonsense." James yanked the hat off Chris's head, and in one swift motion took the scarf, too. Chris protested frantically as James made his way to the back, where the checkout counter was, but to no avail. In a matter of minutes they were standing outside the store again, James shoving a plastic bag into Chris's hands.

"I can't believe you did that," Chris said as he reluctantly grabbed the handles of the bag. The two boys began walking down towards some of the other stores. "I didn't even really want them."

"Shut up! They looked good on you." Chris sighed hopelessly and shook his head a little, his heart already pounding in his chest.

"I have to repay you, I hope you know that," he said.

"You wanna repay me? Fine..." James paused for a moment to think. "OK. Friday night, go out with me."

Chris nearly stopped walking; he could hardly believe what he was hearing. His eyes widened and he stuttered a bit as he replied, "Go out- like a date?"

James laughed and gave a tiny smile. "Yeah."

"OK!" Chris grinned breathlessly. "Wow, I've never actually been on a real date before... uh, with a guy."

"You've been on dates with girls?" James asked with no other reply to use.

"Yeah... too many. Of course, my parents forced me to," Chris added. "They didn't know... Well, I mean, I didn't even know then."

"My mum still doesn't know. I feel like I should tell her." James narrowed his eyes for a bit, then shrugged. "I guess she'll find out eventually."

"Do you want her to know?" Chris politely asked. He started to absentmindedly twirl around the bag in his hand.

"Well... yeah."

"Then maybe you should tell her."

James waited for quite a while before speaking again. When he finally did, he started off by heaving a great sigh and decisively saying, "I will." Then he looked at Chris and his face lit up. "I'll tell her, and I'll tell her about you."

"Good luck," Chris said, trying so hard to hide his overwhelming flush. He took a look down at the bag swinging from his arm and thought that maybe he would wear the hat and scarf every once in a while. And Friday night seemed like a great opportunity to do so.


	2. Chapter 2

In the last few days of their winter break, Chris and Jonathan found themselves running out of things to be entertained by. It was too cold outside to do much of anything, at least for them, and movies became dull after the first five views. Ever since Jonathan had turned eight years old, every single board game in the house was missing at least half of the pieces, if not mostly all of them.

But playing video games never grew old. They stowed themselves away in Jonathan's room all of Wednesday and most of Thursday. Racing games, football games, and even one wrestling game, which Jonathan insisted was a gift from his grandmother. Chris rolled his eyes, then made a joke about men rolling around on the floor together. Jonathan laughed, but he was a little apprehensive about it.

"We're gonna have to find something better to do tomorrow, I think," Jonathan said after beating Chris for the third time in a row on one of the tracks in the racing game. "I never thought I'd say this, but I don't know if I can handle playing games anymore."

"Yeah... Oh! But tomorrow night you're gonna have to entertain yourself, because I," Chris pointed to himself, "have a date."

"Seriously? Why didn't you say anything earlier? And who?"

Chris grinned so widely that Jonathan was frightened a little. "James."

"Well, why the hell didn't you say anything earlier?" Jonathan asked again. "Geez, with the way you drool over him I'd have thought you'd have plastered it on a billboard or something."

Chris shrugged. "I don't know, I just... Hm, I have to keep reminding myself that he asked me- and that's another thing! He asked me, which is insanity and so much more unbelievable."

"I don't think it's unbelievable," Jonathan sincerely replied, and Chris shot him a briefly bewildered look. "Listen, I'm happy for you. On the other hand, I think since you waited so long to tell me, you now have to help me think of what to do tomorrow night when I'm all by my lonesome."

"You could, um... write a book." Chris furrowed his eyebrows and stared at some unseen obstruction in the middle of the room. "That's a ridiculous idea."

"It's at least a start."

"What would you write about?" Chris interestedly asked, twisting around in his bean-bag chair and crossing his legs. Jonny paused for a while, trying to think, but came up short in the end.

"No clue," he sighed. "OK, next idea."

"Tap dancing." Chris immediately said, surprising even himself with his quick response. Then he once again gave a questioning look to the monster. "I don't think you're going to get any good ideas any time soon."

"I don't think so, either," Jonathan laughed. He stretched his legs out and over the edge of his bed, lightly gripping his mattress. "Is there anything for us to do in your room? Even sitting, whatever, I'm just tired of being in here."

"Hmm..." Chris stood up and paced around the bean-bag chair for a bit. Jonathan patiently observed his movements. Then Chris stopped and snapped his fingers. "Ah!"

Without any further explanation, he left the room, and Jonathan decided to follow him. Down the hallway they traveled, until they reached Chris's room at the end. Jonathan was always surprised at how clean Chris kept his room, even though there was really nothing surprising about it. Jonathan still kept his room clean without constantly being forced to, he didn't really see how it should be different for Chris.

In any case, Jonathan had little time for pondering; within seconds of entering the room he was hit with a rather large piece of fabric. He caught it just in time and realized it was a plain white sheet. After making this ascertainment, he looked up to find Chris holding a similar sheet and smiling vaguely.

"Can you explain this to me?" Jonathan asked as he held the sheet up.

"Jay," Chris began in a most serious tone, "this is going to sound... completely and utterly wacko, but... well, something I've always wanted to do... You see, since I'm the youngest, my brothers were all older- duh- and since they were older, they never wanted to do anything with me. And with my parents being the boring, stiff people they are, I never really got to do much of the fun little kid stuff that... well, little kids do. You know?"

"And how does this tie in with the sheet?"

"One of the things I've always wanted to do was..." Chris lowered his head and sheepishly continued, "build a fort." Chris briefly glanced at Jonny a few times, but he kept his head down. "Is that stupid?"

"I don't think that's stupid at all," Jonathan excitedly replied. "In fact, I think it's kinda cool. I never really did much of that stuff either, since I don't have any siblings, and Devon was never into stuff like this. He always wanted to play cops and robbers."

"Cops and robbers?" Chris laughed. "That sounds brilliant, can we play that too?"

"Listen, you're laughing now, but if you want to, I would seriously consider it." Jonny looked down at the sheet of his hands and thought for a moment. "We need chairs."

Chris froze for a second, temporarily in disbelief that Jonathan was going along with the whole thing. He quickly snapped out of it, though, and brightly exclaimed, "Right!" He swooped past Jonathan and down the hall. When he returned a few minutes later, his arms were clad with even more sheets.

"Those aren't chairs," Jonathan plainly stated.

"I know, we're going downstairs," Chris replied. "Come on."

Chris turned and left again, and Jonathan grabbed the sheet he'd thrown on Chris's bed then exited the room. In the kitchen he once again met up with Chris, who had taken the liberty of pushing the table up against the far wall and positioning the leftover chairs in various locations around the room.

"Wow... you work pretty quickly," Jonathan said, announcing his presence to Chris.

"I'm a man on a mission, Jay." Chris didn't stop, he didn't even look up; the path he was set on was a thousand times more important that truly acknowledging Jonathan. "I don't slow down for anything."

"Do you need some help?"

"That would be greatly appreciated, yes. Thank you." Chris moved the last chair into position and walked over to the pile of sheets on the table. Jonny was soon next to him, and together they stretched out one of the sheets over four of the chairs. "Ahh, looking good already!" Chris remarked as he stepped back and admired their progress.

It only took a few more minutes for them to spread out the other sheets over the rest of the chairs, though it would have taken significantly less time if Jonathan hadn't bumped into and knocked over a chair halfway through their task, causing them to basically start over. But it wasn't so hard for them to redo their past work, and there were only a total of six chairs that needed to be covered, thus they finished in a relatively decent amount of time.

"Chris," Jonny cooed as they slid underneath the newly built fort. "We are so awesome at making forts."

There wasn't much room for them to fit, but they managed. Jonathan folded his legs against his chest, while Chris sat cross-legged beside him.

"We certainly are. I can't believe it's taken me sixteen years to do this." He moved his head around and admired the fabric architecture for a while, then suddenly his eyes lit up and he turned to Jonathan. "Oh man, next time Ty comes over I am so doing this again!"

"Aw, that's a great idea," Jonathan politely smiled. "I'm sure he'd love it... you know, even though he's too young to really do much of anything."

"Hey, it will be a great father-son bonding experience," Chris said, completely making it up as he went. "And you can join, too, if you want."

"Well, thank you for the invite, but I don't think I'll be joining you. This was fun, sure, but I think once is enough for me."

"Oh, Jay, you're such a boring person." Chris stuck his tongue out when Jonathan opened his mouth in shock. Jonathan resisted the urge to roll his eyes, when suddenly Chris shot up into the air and flung his arms out, sending the sheets flying across the room, except for the one that landed on Jonathan's head. He gave a satisfied sigh and said, "Yeah. Good times."

"Great," Jonathan said through the sheet with faux eagerness, "now we get to look for something else to do."

"Well, Jay, we can start by cleaning up." Chris grabbed a handful of the sheet and freed Jonathan of his temporary prison. "I wonder what your mum would think if she knew we did this?"

Jonathan stood up and began to move the nearest chair out of the way to make room for the table. "She'd probably think we'd gone mad."

"I think we may have," Chris voiced. He joined Jonathan in the quest to return the kitchen back to its former state, and once they were finished they collapsed in the living room and began to formulate ideas for other entertainment.

They ended up silently staring into space for a good twenty minutes or so. Jonny nearly dozed off during that time, but Chris was wide awake, his mind racing with thoughts of the next evening and his body tingling with nervous anticipation.

What would he wear? What could he wear? Mostly he only owned plain t-shirts, nothing really fancy. He'd left all that stuff behind when he moved in with Jonathan and Penny. Then there was the question of what to do with his mop of hair. He couldn't keep it, certainly, because it was just too much hair. And maybe, by some ridiculous set of standards, that would be the deciding factor for James.

"Jay, wake up," Chris urged as he shook Jonathan's arm. Jonathan hadn't actually been asleep, but if he had been, Chris's rough movements would have more than woken him up.

"What is it?" Jonathan groggily replied.

"I need your help!"

"With what?" Chris pointed one of his slender fingers at the curls laying on his scalp. "Well, what do you want me to do about it?"

"Could you, like, help me cut my hair?" Chris asked with big, pleading eyes. "Please, Jay? Please?"

Jonathan rolled his eyes, but ultimately agreed. He had to search for ten minutes in the bathroom before he finally found the scissors, though. Once he did, he told Chris to stand over the sink, but Chris didn't think that was such a good idea.

"It'll all get stuck in the drain," he reasoned, "and there is quite a lot of it to get stuck, too."

"Fine, then what do you suggest we do?" Chris swirled his eyes around the room for a while, looking for some sort of idea. He seemed briefly to find one in the general direction of the trash can, but quickly shook his head.

"Maybe I should just leave it," he sighed. "Do you think James will care?"

Jonathan went to move his hand and place it on Chris's shoulder, but he stopped himself from doing so, as it would have resulted in Chris being stabbed by the scissors. He chose instead to lift his other hand and rest it reassuringly on Chris. "Chris, if he asked you out when your hair looked like this, I don't think he minds it."

Chris crinkled his nose and twisted his mouth to the side. "What if he changes his mind?"

"Then do you really want to be with someone who'll leave you because your hair is too much?"

"I guess not," Chris quietly replied, his head lowered and eyes pointed at the ground. He felt some movement of air, but didn't bother to look up as Jonathan reached out and grabbed a small chunk of Chris's hair. Moments later, the hair was being shoved into Chris's face, held up by Jonathan's hand.

"Come on, then, you very well can't go out missing a big lock, can you?" Jonathan said. Chris looked up at him with hopeful and thankful eyes and smiled. "But, well... you know, maybe he won't like you without all that hair."

Chris's face immediately fell, the smile wiped off as quickly as if some windshield wiper had glided over his face. "Oh, I never thought about that," he said in a gravely voice.

"And now it's too late," Jonathan unhelpfully added. He rubbed his fingers together, Chris's hair still between them, and pondered what to do next. He decided just to toss it into the trash, and the trash can seemed satisfied with that. It was looking a little hungry for garbage.

"Yeah..." Chris took a slow and deep breath, and Jonathan wasn't sure for a moment if he was going to ever stop inhaling and just let the damn air out. But he did soon enough, then continued, "Oh, well. At least... I don't know. Hmm, I guess at least it'll be easier to maintain."

"That's the spirit!" Jonathan exclaimed, clapping Chris on the back with his sans-scissors hand.

Chris smiled wistfully and waved a hand over his head. "Let's get the rest of it off, then."

Ten minutes later, Chris looked like an entirely new person. Jonathan ran a hand through Chris's now one inch-long hair to make sure he'd gotten all the loose strands out. Then Chris ran up to the mirror and turned his head to each side, admiring the fine work Jonathan had done.

Silent at first, he spun around and threw himself at Jonathan, wrapping him into a tight embrace. "Oh, thank you so much, Jay!!"

Jonathan returned the hug and said, "Ah, you're welcome. I could be a barber, don't you think?"

"You would make a fantastic barber, my coiffeur man," Chris said into Jonathan's ear. "Do you think James will like it?"

"If he doesn't, he's crazy. I did an amazing job."

Chris backed away a little and stared at Jonathan, smiling as a wave of excitement rushed over him. He slowly brought his arms back to his side and let out a nervous laugh. "Is it tomorrow night yet?"

"Soon enough," Jonathan replied.

"I'm holding you to that," Chris warned, wagging a finger at Jonathan. There were a few long seconds of silence proceeding, then Chris fidgeted a little and said, "I think I'm gonna go back to my room now."

"Would you mind if I joined you?" Jonathan asked. "There's not much else to do."

Chris waited a moment before answering, looking a little taken aback and conflicted. But in the end he agreed, and the pair made their way into Chris's room for the second time within a few hours. Chris cautiously sat down on his bed after closing the door behind them.

"There's not really much to do in here," Chris said as he noticed Jonathan having a look around.

"I see that," Jonathan replied. "What do you do in here? You seem to be up here quite a lot."

"Um..." Chris thoughtfully paused. He ran his eyes over his walls for a bit, then gestured to one of them. "I just kinda sit here... and read."

Jonathan turned his head to see the wall Chris had referenced. It was almost completely blocked by an oversized bookshelf, which was crammed with numerous books. Jonathan's eyes involuntarily widened and his jaw even dropped a little.

"That's a lot of books," he quietly remarked. To himself he wondered how he could have never noticed the enormous shelves before, considering that he'd been in Chris's room quite a number of times in the past.

"Yeah... I like to read," Chris said in an almost ashamed tone.

"How come you never mentioned it before? You have, like, a million books, geez." Jonathan stood over by the bookshelf and scanned the titles. There were so many there, some that he'd actually read, but most he had never even heard of before. "I would say that I'd let you borrow some of mine, but it looks like you already have all the ones I own."

"It is a pretty big collection, yeah. And... I don't know," he shrugged, "I guess I just never really felt the need to mention it."

"Well, now I know what I can get you for your birthday." Jonathan turned away from the shelf and headed towards Chris's bed. He sat down on the edge and watched as Chris stared longingly at his nightstand. "Is something wrong?"

"Huh?" Chris quickly looked up at Jonathan, his eyes appearing rather sad and empty. "Oh, no... everything's OK. I'm just... a little nervous still, I think, for tomorrow."

"Oh. Well, don't be, you'll do fine." Jonathan smiled reassuringly, and even though Chris acted like it helped, he still looked like he was missing something. But Jonathan thought he figured it out once Chris spoke again.

"Those aren't even all the books I own," he muttered. "I have more in my locker at school, I think some are under my bed..." His voice grew even softer as he continued, "and the ones I left at... my parent's house."

"Wow. That's impressive."

Chris gave an unenthusiastic shrug. "It's something to pass the time." He looked down at his hands and frowned. Jonathan felt extremely sympathetic, but he wasn't sure what he could say, if there even was anything for him to say. But he wanted to somehow assure Chris that not everything in life was bad, so he settled on moving over to Chris and giving him a warm hug. Chris wasn't expecting it, but he gladly accepted Jonathan's kind gesture, even though he found that there was a tiny portion of him that wished Jonathan wouldn't act like he was part of Chris's family now.


	3. Chapter 3

Chris had left hours ago, stuttering goodbyes in his crazy nervousness and even shaking a little. Despite the numerous times that Jonathan told him to calm down, Chris just couldn't help freaking out. It was a really important night for him.

So now, five minutes to eleven, Jonathan was laying in his bed and trying to go to sleep. He thought he nearly got there once, then his body kindly jerked him into consciousness again. His eyes flew open and he looked around for a bit before his mind cleared and he realized what was going on. Then he closed his eyes again and tried once more for sleep.

He thought he sensed a presence standing in his doorway, and he could hear faint sobs emerging from the same direction. Just as he peeked over, a tall, shadowy figure began to leave.

"Chris?" Jonathan called out. The shadow stopped and backtracked a little.

"Yeah?" Chris tried to inconspicuously reply, but his voice cracked.

"What happened?" A moment of silence passed before Chris decided to fully walk into Jonathan's room, and even go as far as to lay down next to Jonathan. He brought with him a sort of cold air, which seemed to be emanating from the jacket he was wearing. And now, having obviously been caught, he was no longer trying to hide his tears.

"Jay, it was awful."

"I'm sure you're exaggerating-"

"No," Chris forcefully said. "I know I get paranoid sometimes and make things sound a thousand times worse than they actually are, but I swear to you that this is not one of those times. It was awful."

"OK," Jonathan replied in defeat. "Well, why was it awful?"

Chris sniffed and tried to steady his breathing, quite successfully. "OK," he began, "so everything was going all right... then James suggested we go to a bar. I didn't really want to, but he insisted and... I just couldn't say no. I mean, I didn't think it would be that bad."

"A bar?" Jonathan quietly repeated.

"Yeah, but I didn't drink or anything," Chris insisted. "That stuff's nasty."

"Well, OK, but how did you guys even get in?"

"James convinced them we were old enough. Anyway, it was fine at first. We sat up at the actual bar... there were quite a lot of people there. But it was fine, and James and I talked a lot. And I thought we were getting along great."

Chris went silent for a while. Jonathan listened to his uneven breaths, waiting for him to go on. But when he didn't, Jonathan asked, "What happened?" Through the darkness he saw Chris turn his head, his usually bright blue eyes just barely visible.

"I left to go to the bathroom- which, by the way, is an entirely different story- and when I came back out, I was just really tired and I wanted to go home. So I walked back to James, and he was talking to some other guy who was sitting next to him, so I waited a while and just kinda sat around. Then I finally got to ask him if he'd take me home, but he said he wasn't ready to leave yet. But I was getting really uncomfortable being there, and he was drinking quite a lot, and, I mean, I don't know how to drive and if he's too intoxicated... but I didn't want to say that, so I just asked him again to please bring me home. And then he," Chris's voice was overcome with sobbing, but he still tried to finish his story, "then he told me I was ruining his night and he called me a stupid cunt and said that if I wanted to go home, I'd have to find my own way because he didn't want to deal with me anymore."

Jonathan was temporarily speechless, but he eventually mustered up some words. "Chris, wh.... How did you get home?"

Chris gave a small shrug and in a quiet voice answered, "I walked."

"You walked??" Jonathan incredulously iterated. "How long did that take you?"

"I don't know, like an hour and a half."

"Weren't you, like, freezing?" Chris nodded his head in response, and Jonathan sat up. "Chris, why didn't you call? My mum could have gone and picked you up-"

"No," Chris interrupted, leveling himself with Jonathan, "Jay, your mum already does enough for me just letting me stay here with you guys. I couldn't call her up at nine-thirty at night and ask her to pick me up from some bar!"

"But what if something had happened to you out there? It's dark, and cold, and who knows what sort of people wander around at this time of night?"

"I wasn't thinking about that, Jay, I was a little upset," Chris slowly replied. "Besides, it's all over now. Everything's over. Tomorrow... I'll wake up, and it'll be like none of it happened."

"Can you really do that?" Chris looked up at Jonathan and stared. "Just forget about it?" Jonathan clarified.

"It's what I always do when bad things happen," Chris innocently replied. "You can't focus on the bad stuff, Jay, or else you won't ever get anywhere in life."

Jonathan subconsciously nodded along. "Well, you're a much stronger person than I am, then. I wouldn't be able to get over something like that so easily."

Chris gave a tiny and slightly unenthusiastic smile. Then he yawned and rubbed his eyes. "I'm gonna go to bed now, Jay. Goodnight, and thank you for... listening. But in the morning, none of it happened, remember that."

"All right," Jonathan agreed, and he watched Chris leave before he laid down and closed his eyes again.

His dream was a blurry swirl of visions: he vaguely recalled a horse- or perhaps a unicorn, who knows?- something having to do with the Italian mafia, and he thought he even saw Chris in there at one point. But none of that was entirely unusual; at any given time he could easily rattle off at least three dreams he'd had in the past year, all involving those three things.

There was the first one, where he was riding a horse through what he assumed were uninhabited woods. But as he rode deeper and deeper in, he began to hear voices. At first he thought he was just going crazy, since the voices grew louder, but never amounted to anything. Then he finally ran into the source of the noise. Hidden among the trees was a small gang of people, gathered around one man laying on the ground. They were all laughing at him. Jonathan came closer, and soon identified the man as Chris, but he didn't know who the others were. Somehow he had made the connection in his conscious state the next morning that it was a group of mobsters. In any case, he felt the need to save Chris from this unfortunate scene, but before he could he either woke up, switched to a different dream, or he just couldn't remember the rest.

The second one was similar, except that he wasn't the one riding the horse. He was one of the mobsters, and Chris was riding the horse. In the dead of night, Chris traveled to Jonathan's small apartment in the middle of New York City, all the while carrying an intensely important document. But somehow during the trip, the document had been destroyed or lost, and while Jonathan wasn't so upset about it, he knew the others would be. And he knew they'd go after Chris, even if they went for Jonathan first. Jonathan realized that the mistake had been Chris's fault, but he still felt this urge to protect him. The dream never really concluded in any manner other than abrupt, though.

The third one was probably the oddest one. He and Chris were both the horses, as were the mobsters. They had just been two innocent colts who happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. But the mobsters didn't care, and soon there was a contract out for both of their lives. They ran and ran, but their hooves never moved them fast enough to escape their awful fate. Jonathan woke up in a panicked sweat after that one.

Once the sun rose and decided that it was going to be a new day- a Saturday, in fact- so Jonathan rose and decided that he needed to stop having such weird dreams. Of course, this was not something he could really control, and he knew that, but regardless he decided it needed changing.

Downstairs, Chris was already awake and perky as usual, despite that which Jonathan had been told to forget regarding the previous night. Jonathan observed Chris's seeming carelessness as he poured himself a cup of tea, feeling just a little jealous that Chris could so skillfully move on with his life.

Minutes later Penny joined the boys, still donning her light pink bathrobe and matching pink hair curlers. She had long ago stopped caring about her early morning appearance, as Jonathan had always been her son, and as of late Chris had become part of their family. If they were to ever have another guest stay overnight, then things would be different, but with the boys Penny felt comfortable enough.

"Morning, dears!" Penny cheerfully sang as she glided across the tiled floor to the counter to grab a cup of tea.

"Morning, Penny," Chris replied in the same chipper tone. "Sleep well?"

"Yes, I did, thank you." Penny quickly took the seat next to Jonathan and gently set down her cup. "I think I only woke once during the night. I can't remember if I had any dreams, either. You know, I've heard that if you don't recall dreaming, it means that you've had yourself a deep sleep. Of course, I'm not sure how true that it, you know how people are nowadays." Penny gave a small laugh, then tilted her head slightly. "How was your date last night, hmm?"

"Oh," Chris instantly said, and Jonathan held his breath. He expected Chris to break down at any moment. "It was... well, I mean, I really liked him, but... sometimes two people just aren't meant to be together. It happens."

Chris shrugged a little and Penny nodded her head sadly. "I'm sorry to hear that, but you're right. It'll probably happen more times than you'd like, but I will tell you one thing: that doesn't mean you should give up, because one day you will find that person who you're meant to be with. I can promise you that. And when you do find that person... well, you'll just know."

"Thank you," Chris sincerely said, then turned to Jonathan, who was in a state of total disbelief at Chris's nonchalance. "Hi, Jay," Chris awkwardly said.

"Hi, Chris," Jonathan returned, coming to his senses and turning his focus to his cup of tea. But he was still shocked that Chris could act like that when less than twelve hours before he'd been spilling tears onto Jonathan's pillow. "Do you have any plans for today?"

"Nope."

Jonathan looked up at his mother and squinted. "Do you have any plans for today?"

"Are you kidding me?" she laughed. "After the week I've had, there's no way I'm doing anything except laying on the sofa and watching TV all day. You boys should go out and do something, though. Make use of your youth while it's still there."

"Well, then, what do you say, Chris? Should I haul out the old game console, or is that not a youthful way of spending our time?"

Chris crinkled his nose, trying to stifle his laughter, and rolled his head around as if he was searching for the answer in the air. He looked a little like a slowed-down bobblehead. "Eh, I think I've had enough of video games to last me another... month or so." He returned his head to its normal position and stared down at his hands resting on the table. "I... um, I think I'm gonna go up to my room. I probably have some homework to do."

"On a Saturday?" Penny asked. Then she quickly changed her mind and waved her hand. "Never mind. Enjoy your homework, then."

"Yeah, I'll try," Chris said in a slightly sarcastic tone. But he smiled at Penny and Jonathan as he left, anxiously climbing the stairs and flying down the hall to his room.

He closed the door and hopped onto his bed, pulling open the only drawer his nightstand contained and reaching inside for a large stack of papers. He also grabbed the pen that was floating solo under the papers, then sat back against his pillows. Of course, at that exact moment, a knock sounded through his door.

"Come in!" he shouted as he stashed the papers under his pillow and quickly shut the drawer. He returned to his former position as fast as he could, trying to not raise any suspicion. Jonathan inched into the room, and the instant image of Chris smiling at him, hands clasped and resting on his lap, did nothing to assure him that everything was normal.

"I hope you don't mind... I wanted to talk to you." Jonathan stood at the foot of Chris's bed, scratched the back of his neck with a burning nervousness, and looked down at his feet.

"About what?" There was a hint of fear in Chris's voice. Jonathan sighed and let his hand fall to his side.

"Uh..." He tried to find the exact words, and while doing so he raised his eyes to Chris. It was almost as if Chris knew what Jonathan wanted to say without him even needing to vocalize it, which seemed to be happening an awful lot as of late. Jonathan was nearly glad for this, since he found that he just couldn't say what he was going to and risk making Chris feel bad. "Forget it. Is it all right if I stay in here?"

"Yeah, of course," Chris replied with a smile. "Jay, are you sure there's nothing bothering you?"

"It's nothing, don't worry."

"All right," Chris said after a few moments of silence, his tone wrought with disbelief, "but if you need to talk, I'm always here to listen."

"Thanks." Jonathan thought it very strange that Chris would be so willing to help other people with their problems when he had problems of his own that were what Jonathan estimated to be ten thousand times worse than any he'd ever faced. But he never brought it up to Chris, because he didn't want to interfere with the way Chris handled his own life. After all, he wouldn't like people prying into his affairs all that much.

"Well, I think we should at least talk about something, then, if you're going to be staying in here." Chris patted down the mattress, beckoning Jonathan to sit next to him. Then he reached over to his nightstand and grabbed the book that was laying on the top of a large stack. "I know, I will read to you."

"Works for me," Jonathan said as he made himself comfortable. He watched as Chris tried to locate his spot in the book.

"Ah!" he exclaimed when he finally found the page he was looking for. Then, after clearing his throat, he continued, "OK... Winthrop placed his hat carefully on the coat rack. All was silent in the hall, but in the distance he heard the faint sound of Rosalia shuffling about the kitchen. Rosalia is his wife," Chris explained, and Jonathan nodded his head. "She must be preparing dinner, he thought, because it is nearly five o'clock. I should tell her to make enough for three. Emilio should be here any moment. He glanced back at the door, hoping that it would suddenly burst open with Emilio's bright image..." Chris paused for a while, then looked up at Jonathan. "He's in love with Emilio."

"I probably could have guessed that," Jonathan replied. A silence hung between the two boys, and Chris looked back at the book in his hands, the enthusiasm to read to Jonathan beginning to die.

"I remember when I first read this book. It was... strange... Jay, can I tell you something?"

"Sure."

"I got this book when I was twelve. It was one of the ones that I bought by myself- I think it's obvious that my parents didn't buy it." He laughed, but Jonathan thought he saw a tiny wince as well. "I didn't know what it was about when I got it, but anyway, I read it, and... I just felt this really, really deep connection to it. I thought it was the best piece of literature I'd ever read. Of course, I was twelve, and what did I really know about literature?" Chris flipped the book over and ran a finger down its spine. "Last summer I reread it, and I realized that it's actually not written as well as I had thought."

"That's happened to me before," Jonathan said to fill in the sudden gap in conversation. "I've read books that I thought were great when I was younger, and then it turns out their awful. Kids like to praise bad things, I think. It makes for a terrible world."

Chris watched Jonathan with thoughtful and polite eyes, but it was obvious that he had meant something more. "Jay, I knew when I was twelve. Twelve. My parents started setting me up with all those girls when I was thirteen." He set the book down beside him, rested his chin in his hands, and just stared at it.

Jonathan wasn't really sure how to respond. He didn't even know if he should respond, or if he should just keep quiet and sit still. It saddened him much more than he'd expected that he couldn't help Chris. What made it worse was knowing that it was nothing compared to the pain he knew Chris felt, even if Chris never showed it.


	4. Chapter 4

Chris pushed open the big door leading into the locker room. Before he stepped inside, he heard a familiar voice calling his name. He spun around to see none other than Jonathan bustling down the hallway towards him.

"Jay, what are you doing here?" he asked, still holding the door open.

"My gym and lunch got switched," Jonathan explained as he stopped in front of Chris. "So I guess we're in the same class."

"You have lunch next?" Jonathan nodded, and Chris grinned the cheesiest grin he possible could have. "This is so awesome!!!" He almost jumped up and down and smothered Jonathan with a hug, but he decided against it when he remembered that his hand had continued to be attached to the door of the locker room. So instead, he walked in and past a large group of boys gathered by a wall of lockers. Jonathan was close behind, watching his feet as he made his way through.

"Better cover up, boys, don't want Queer checking out your junk."

Jonathan was so shocked when he heard it that he nearly dropped dead of a heart attack. But he looked up, and saw that Chris merely shot a condescending smile in their direction and kept going. Jonathan quickened his pace a bit to catch up to Chris as they walked towards the stalls in the back.

"Chris, you're just gonna let them talk to you like that?" Chris stopped and turned, not looking fazed in the least.

"Oh, please, Jay," he said, "have you seen these guys? They're a bunch of stupid jocks, who cares what they say?"

"If you're sure," Jonathan unhappily muttered. He walked into the stall beside Chris's and began to change into his gym clothes. He of course never really believed that Chris could deal with everything on his own, and he wondered if there was a specific reason then that Chris chose to change in the stall.

But he didn't dare ask, and he didn't even say another word to Chris until they were in the gymnasium itself. They stood to the side nearly up against the wall, waiting for the coach to finish roll call.

"So, I was thinking that maybe I'd stop by Kirsten's after school today and see Ty," Chris said to Jonathan, restlessly swinging his arms about. "Since I haven't seen him in, like, a week. No, it's been longer than a week, hasn't it?"

"You haven't seen him since Devon came back, at least, and that was nearly a week ago," Jonathan replied.

"Yeah, so it's been a while."

"Everyone gather up here, please," the coach called, gesturing to the center of the room. The students all moved and sat down as directed. "Because it's the first day back from break, we're just going to be playing kickball. I think you all know how to do that. What we need is for two volunteers to be captains. Anyone?"

Naturally, the hands that raised were those of the more athletic kids. The coach picked the most predictable two, and they stood in front of the rest as they began to pick their teams.

"Uh... Jonathan," the one kid said, about two minutes in. Jonathan was a tad surprised that anyone would pick him; he figured that he'd just be part of those left to be assigned a team by the coach. As he stood up and walked over to the line, he and Chris exchanged glances, and Chris shrugged and gave him a smile.

The other captain was conversing with one of his teammates, trying to reach a decision on who to pick next. Their eyes scanned the group before them, and as they stopped on one kid they smirked and laughed.

The kid who was captain started to motion with his hand as he said, "Come on, Queer, you're on our team."

"Thomas," the coach warned, and in turn Thomas shot an apologetic look in his direction. Chris quickly joined them, waving at Jonathan as he stopped behind the last person in the line. Jonathan waved back, rather disappointed that they weren't on the same team. It didn't help, either, that he knew no one else in the class besides Chris.

Slowly, the rest of the students were put onto teams until there were none left and that was when the game finally began. Jonathan's team was up to kick first, so he basically was able to stand there until enough of the people ahead of him got out.

The teams switched sides, and Chris ran past Jonathan, tapping him on the arm and smiling. Jonathan stopped near one of the bases, which he quickly realized was probably a bad idea. He continued on towards the back of the gym, where he figured that he wouldn't have to participate much.

Chris's turn had come relatively quickly, and when his foot collided with the ball, it was sent flying all the way to the back wall. Chris sprinted through the bases, making it back to home before anyone even got the chance to grab the ball. He jogged past his fellow teammates, who were all eager to try to high-five him, though even from the other side of the gym Jonathan thought he detected quite a bit of mocking.

The game and class in general went on for much longer than anyone would have liked. It surprisingly ended in a tie, as Jonathan's team had just snatched a run as the coach told them it was time to change. Of course, Jonathan's lack of athleticism did nothing to contribute to his team's success, but it was not as if he didn't at least try.

"I'm obviously just not as skilled as you are," he said to Chris as they left the locker room, talking specifically about how he managed to kick the ball in the direction where there was only one kid standing- the ideal situation, really- yet he sent the ball right into the kid's arms.

"No, no, Jay. Anyone can run around bases. What you did- that takes skill."

"Oh, well, if you say so," Jonathan laughed. "I don't think it's a good skill to have, though."

"Yeah, you'd be right in thinking that." Chris stopped at a locker right on the corner near the end of the hallway, presumably a locker that was his. He threw his gym bag in and took out a few books, then continued to walk with Jonathan to the cafeteria. "Any idea what's for lunch today?"

"Food, probably," Jonathan helpfully replied.

Chris shrugged and said, "Eh, good enough for me."

Chris led the two as they walked into the cafeteria. Jonathan watched in passing as a large group of girls seated at a round table giggled in their direction. He furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, and as he and Chris finally settled at a table he saw one of the girls stand and walk towards them.

"Do you wanna go up there with me?" Chris asked Jonathan, gesturing to the lunch line.

"Yeah, sure."

Jonathan placed his stuff down on the table as Chris dug in his pocket for money. Out of the corner of his eyes, Jonathan saw the girl stop in front of them, heard her clear her throat.

"Excuse me, Chris?" Chris raised his eyes and saw her smiling face, her eyelashes batting like there was something stuck in her eye. "I was wondering if you finished the chemistry homework?"

A look of disappointment swept across Chris's face as he replied, "I didn't, sorry."

"Oh. Well, thanks anyway." The girl gave a little wave and walked away. Chris went back to looking for his money, which he found with relative ease. He walked around the table and grabbed Jonny's arm, dragging him through the crowds of people across the cafeteria.

"Who was that girl?" Jonathan asked as they stopped at the end of the line. For some reason, he suddenly felt as though his strange dreams were now reality, and he felt like he should be shielding Chris from something.

"Her name is M... hmm... shit." Chris shook his head a little. "She sits next to me in Chemistry."

Jonathan felt a little relieved, though he didn't know why. He tried to hold back his next words, but they wriggled free of his hold with a powerful force. "I think she likes you."

Chris raised an eyebrow at the crazy notion that obviously had not occurred to him earlier. He thought about it for a few moments, but shrugged in the end. "It doesn't really matter to me."

"Well, yeah. I was just thinking maybe it would be good to know, so you can... watch out... or tell her to back off," Jonny mumbled. He scuffed his shoes against the dirty floor and mentally smacked himself for acting like he did.

The boys moved up a little in the line, silent and a tiny bit awkward. Chris played with the money he held in his hand. Jonathan watched for a while, with nothing better to do. At one point, Chris quickly looked up and around the room, then he gasped rather loudly.

"What is it?" Jonathan asked, trying to see what Chris was gasping at.

"Over there," Chris said, tilting his head and turning to face Jonathan. "Look who it is."

Jonathan tried his hardest to locate to person Chris was referring to, but he had no luck. Chris stared anxiously at the wall behind Jonathan, waiting until it was safe to turn back around.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Jonathan told him. Chris spun and scanned the area where he'd seen the offender before.

"He's gone," Chris said with a sigh of relief. Then he looked at Jonathan, and Jonathan almost immediately knew the answer just by the expression in Chris's eyes. "James was over there. I forgot he's in this lunch."

"Oh," Jonathan meagerly replied. "Sorry."

Chris nodded. "It's OK. After all, it's not like I own the cafeteria," he added with a laugh.

Chris gave Jonathan a reassuring smile then looked down at his own feet. Jonathan felt like he should say something as he watched Chris go back to playing with his money. But, as he had done plenty of times before, he decided to keep his mouth shut.

The line moved rather quickly, and within five minutes Chris and Jonathan were sitting back down at their table, trays of food resting in their hands. Chris shoved his books to the side and set his tray down.

"I still don't know what's for lunch," he joked. "This looks like it could be anything."

"It probably is anything and everything," Jonathan laughed. "But as long as it satisfies my hunger, right?"

Chris laughed along, and the two began to eat. Then another person slid into the seat beside Chris.

"Hey, Chris," a new voice spoke. It came from a boy with dark brown hair flipped to the left and covering his dark brown eyes. The right side of his bottom lip was pierced with a small hoop. Chris looked up at him and swallowed the food he'd been chewing.

"Hey, Damien," Chris said. Jonathan decided that he was going to need to make a list of all the names of the new people he was meeting today. Even though there hadn't been that many yet, he figured he was going to have trouble keeping track of them all. "How was your break?"

"It was all right," Damien coolly replied. "Got to stay home and sleep in for two weeks. How was yours?"

"It was good," Chris smiled. "Jonathan," he gestured across the table, "and I played a lot of video games. Um... I got a hair cut. That was about it."

"Oh, yeah. My mum keeps telling me I need to cut my hair. I think she can go fu-" Damien trailed off and cleared his throat, as he noticed a teacher walking by, shooting him a nasty look.

"I think your hair looks fine," Chris shrugged, and he returned to eating his lunch.

"Yeah, tell that to my mum." Damien sighed and looked over at Jonathan. With a quick nod, he asked, "What's your name, again?"

"Jonathan."

Something in Damien's mind clicked and his eyes lit up with remembrance. "Oh, right, Chris talks about you a lot. It's nice to meet you."

"It's nice to meet you, too," Jonathan unenthusiastically replied, "Damien, is it? I don't think I've heard Chris mention you before."

"Ah, what a shame. Well, I better get back to my table. See you later, man," he said to Chris, tapping his arm lightly as he stood up.

"See you," Chris brightly replied. He watched as Damien walked away, and Jonathan watched Chris. "Right, what were we talking about before?"

"Uh... the food?" Jonathan replied.

"Oh, yeah. Well, after eating half of it, I'm not entirely convinced it actually is food." Chris twisted his mouth at the tray and moved his fork around a bit. Then, almost out of nowhere, he suddenly asked, "Jay, will you come with me after school? To see Ty, I mean."

"Sure," Jonathan automatically replied. "Wait, is it because of Devon?"

Chris glanced up at Jonathan. "He still scares me," he quietly said.

Jonathan smiled a little and nodded. "Sure, I'll come with you."

As promised, Jonathan did indeed accompany Chris to the familiar blue house. Jonathan had planned on returning home first, but Chris was so eager that he pulled Jonathan down the sidewalk as soon as they descended from the bus.

The cold winter air pushed the boys to nearly run to their destination. When Chris knocked on the door, he thought his hand might fall off. Then they waited on the porch for a few minutes longer before the door was finally answered.

"Oh, boys!" beamed Kirsten and Devon's mother. "It's so nice to see you!"

"It's nice to see you, too, Lorraine," Chris cheerfully replied.

"Which one are you here for?"

"Ty."

"Right-o! Come on in." She held the door open as Chris and Jonathan walked in. They entered the well-kept living room where Ty was resting peacefully in his carriage. Chris immediately walked over and greeted his son with a big smile.

"Tyyyy, my main man!" Chris reached into the carriage and lifted Ty out, carrying him over to the couch where they both sat down. "We have so much to discuss."

"Are you aware that it has been well over a week since I last saw you?" he asked. Of course, he didn't receive an actual answer, but that didn't matter. "In fact, I'm not even sure where I should begin with my storytelling."

"It's not really going to matter, is it? It's not like he understands a single word you're saying," a voice sneered. Chris looked up to find that Devon was standing behind him.

"I think he does," Chris said. "I think he understands everything. Ty is a very smart boy, I can tell."

"You'd think differently, I'm sure, if you actually had to live with him." Devon swung around to the front of the couch. "Without the pleasure of being able to ignore him for weeks at a time, you'd find that he's far less tolerable than you make him out to be."

"It's not like I purposely avoid seeing him," Chris bitterly replied. "And, personally, I think you're just being testy."

"Testy?" Devon incredulously repeated. Chris drew into himself a little, but he nodded. Noticing the near-angry look on Devon's face, Jonathan decided it was time to intervene.

"Devon," he called. Devon looked up, for a moment with disgust, then changed his expression to a more pleased one. "We still have a lot to catch up on, man."

"Right," Devon agreed. He walked away from Chris and began to lead Jonathan out of the room. Before he left, Jonathan glanced back at Chris, who was staring at him with a most thankful countenance.

"All right, Ty, looks like it's just you and me again. No scary Uncle Devon," Chris said. "Uh, but you shouldn't be afraid of him, though. I think he's only mean to me. He seems like he's always nice to Jay... then again, they have been friends since... forever. And I did kinda have a baby with his sister..." Chris smiled and bent his head down closer to Ty, and poked Ty's nose with his index finger. "But that baby is you, and I wouldn't trade you for the world."

Ty cooed in return, drawing a small laugh from Chris. "Aw, how cute!" Lorraine said from behind the couch. "You know, Chris, I think you're a great father."

Chris turned around, made speechless by the nicest compliment he had ever received. "Well, thank you."

"And I know Mitch agrees with me," Lorraine said, directing her voice in the vague location of the kitchen. "Isn't that right, Mitch?"

Mitch popped his head into the room and looked over at his wife. "Huh?"

"Don't you agree that Chris is a great father?" Lorraine asked.

"Oh. You are certainly a great father," he said to Chris. "You know what would make you a better father? When you're old enough, you marry my daughter."

"Mitch!"

"What?" Mitch innocently replied. Lorraine tilted her head towards Chris and made a face, trying to convey why she felt his statement was inappropriate. Then he suddenly realized the error of his ways. "Ohhhhh. Duh. I am so sorry."

"Uh... it's OK," Chris laughed. "I'm not, like, offended or anything. And I'm definitely not surprised that you would want me to marry her."

"But you won't," Mitch finished. Chris looked up at him apologetically and shrugged his agreement. "Well, I suppose as long as you two can raise him well enough, then there's no harm... Still, it would be nice for him to have a family that wasn't so messed up. No offense," he quickly added.

"No, I agree," Chris replied. He raised his arm and gently smoothed down some of Ty's dark curls. "It probably would be better for him to grow up in a stable family. But I don't think that's really possible. Ty's a strong kid, though, I think. He'll be able to handle it."


	5. Chapter 5

It was a rough week back from vacation, as expected, and even the week after didn't go too well. Every morning Jonathan woke up to the sound of Chris screaming at him, seconds away from tossing a pillow at his head.

"Come on, Jay, if you don't get up we're gonna be late," Chris would say from the doorway, even though it wasn't entirely true. Jonathan would lift his head with laboring fatigue and look over at Chris, then fall back on his pillow and groan loudly.

"Is it summer yet?"

"I wish."

Then, just for good measure, Chris would throw the pillow at Jonathan's head.

Jonathan got his payback, though, once they ate breakfast. Every morning it was something different, so that Chris expected something to go wrong, but he had no clue what Jonathan had planned. One morning his tea was ice cold; another morning he discovered that Jonathan had messed with the dial on the toaster, and his toast was burnt to a crisp. Chris was keen on continuing the cycle, and so Jonathan was forced to change his shirt one morning after having cold tea dumped on him, then another morning he kept finding bits of burnt toast hidden throughout his hair.

They were no less mischievous around each other during school. Bits of clothing would go temporarily missing in the locker room, food would be stolen whilst attention was directed elsewhere; Jonathan especially liked to steal Chris's backpack and hide it in one of the other stalls, then wait and snicker as he watched Chris search the locker room almost entirely before finding it again.

But one day Chris took too long to change into his regular clothes, and so Jonathan, growing bored, left without him. Along with Jonathan, most of the others boys exited the locker room before Chris did, the lack of chatter in the air hinting at him to hurry. But, as he stuffed his shorts into his bag, he thought he heard footsteps drawing nearer.

"Uh... Chris?" Chris looked up to see a rather anxious blond-haired boy standing in front of him, mouth twitching and eyes a little bit frightened. "Hi. Um, I don't know if you really know who I am- I'm Nolan."

"Hi, Nolan," Chris replied in a friendly tone. He recognized the boy as one of those who stood by the door and relentlessly poked fun at him, but he decided to give this boy a chance. He looked innocent enough, and even a little cute. Not that Chris was big on judging people by their looks.

Nolan smiled nervously and fidgeted, staring down at his hands. He didn't really find anything helpful there, though he honestly didn't expect to. "I was just wondering... if you're not busy after school or anything... maybe we could hang out?"

Chris noticed a faint flush appear on the blond boy's cheeks, which he found rather endearing. "Yeah, OK."

"Really?" Nolan replied in a small voice.

"Uh huh," Chris nodded, "sounds great."

"Cool. But, uh... is it OK if we meet somewhere... not on campus? Because... I mean, no one knows..."

Chris wasn't sure what it was exactly, but he felt a wave of emotion wash over him instantly. It was almost like some sort of weird disappointment. "Oh. Right, sure." He looked down at his bag and tried to think. "How about the shop in town? It's only, like, a five-minute walk from here, I think."

"That works." Nolan stood around for another few moments and exhaled a shaky breath. "So... I'll see you then."

He turned around and whisked away before Chris really had a chance to say anything else. He waited until Nolan had left the room to grab his things and leave himself. Slowly, he walked down the hallway, stopping at his locker to retrieve his books.

But as he closed the locker door he had a thought: Don't go to lunch. It wasn't that he didn't want to see Jonathan, because he did want to see Jonathan. Even though they lived together, and even though some other prank was most likely to be pulled if he did go, he still liked spending as much time with Jonathan as he could. What he really wanted to do, though, was go to the library. It felt like ages since he'd had the chance to be alone with his thoughts.

So he walked right past the cafeteria and towards the library. There were a few people in there, as he had expected, all studying or reading various books. One dark-haired boy stared at him viciously as he walked in, but Chris ignored the kid. He sat down at one of the empty tables and pulled out a dark purple folder from his backpack. Inside were pages upon pages of things sloppily written in his barely legible handwriting.

He flipped to the last page, words only resting on half of its front. He reread what he had previously put down, then began to write more. The ink flowed easily from his pen, the lines they wrote seeping from his mind with the same quickness. It was as though he knew what he wanted to say, and had known for so long, but since he hadn't had the chance to get it out, it built up, only now to be released onto paper.

The bell rang a while later, and Chris became aware of the beginning of hunger pains building in his abdomen. He'd sacrificed food for his alone time, but in the end he thought it was worth it. Even though he wouldn't be able to go home straight after school and make some sort of snack, he figured that since he would be there, he could buy something from the store later.

Then he remembered that he had plans that afternoon, and a tiny skip slid its way into his step. He only wished he had someone he could tell; Jonathan- apart from being the only person Chris thought would even be interested- was the only person Chris thought he could trust, even with classified information such as this, but he had no other classes with Jonathan for the rest of the day. Nevertheless, Chris remained unalterably happy throughout the duration of his proceeding classes.

As he stood outside of the shop in town, waiting to see Nolan's blond hair walking down the sidewalk or coming through the door of the building– he wasn't sure if Nolan had made it there before him or not- his smile stayed strong, and he even began to hum to himself a little.

"Sorry about the wait," Nolan said as he walked up along the sidewalk. He brushed a hand through his hair, almost looking as if he was trying to hide from someone across the street. "I had to get rid of my friends before I could come here. You know, I don't want them to get suspicious."

"Come on," Chris excitedly said, basically ignoring everything Nolan had just told him. "Let's go for a walk."

Chris linked his arm with Nolan's and pulled him down the street and around the corner. As they walked, he briefly recalled a time when he and Jonathan had walked nearly the same path. It felt like ages ago.

"So, Nolan," Chris casually began, "tell me... your hopes and dreams."

"My hopes and dreams?" Nolan uneasily replied, and Chris laughed.

"OK, it doesn't have to be your hopes and dreams. But tell me something, I hardly know anything about you except your name."

"Well..." Nolan paused for a really long time, staring at his feet as they moved down the street. "I don't know, what do you want to know?"

"Hmm... one dream you have, then. Like," Chris waved his free hand through the air, "what do you want to do with your life, that sort of thing."

"I kinda want to be some sort of engineer. My dad's a mechanic, so I've learned a lot from him about that sort of thing. I think I could do it pretty well." Nolan shrugged. "What about you?"

"Oh, you know," Chris droned with a sudden boredom, "a... doctor or lawyer or something like that."

Nolan laughed a little, "So, you're just in it for the money?"

"Yep," Chris grinned. Then, with the strong desire to shift the focus off him, he continued, "Tell me something else."

Nolan thought for a few moments. "When I was younger I wanted to be a model. My mum kindly told me I wasn't attractive enough."

Chris laughed a bit, but replied, "I think you are."

Nolan ducked his head and tried not to grin. "Yeah?"

"Yeah. But you do have to have a six-pack. 'Cause if you're not ripped, then it's just not gonna work."

"Right. I think I'll stick to being an engineer."

"You would certainly make an attractive engineer," Chris honestly said. "Of course, I don't know any engineers, so I'm not sure how big of an accomplishment that would be."

Nolan laughed, finally beginning to feel a little more at ease. "Where are we walking to, exactly?" he asked, scrunching his eyebrows.

"I hadn't actually thought of that. I do know a place..." Chris thought about the abandoned building not far from where they were at the moment, though he felt a little strange thinking about it. "It's hidden, so you won't have to worry," he added with a tiny bit of bitterness.

"Sorry," Nolan quietly said.

Chris brightened up almost instantly and tugged at Nolan's arm. "Come on." His hand slid down to Nolan's and he started to run in what he was pretty sure was the correct direction. Nolan could just barely keep up with Chris, and when they finally stopped by the building he was panting like there was no tomorrow.

"Holy... geez, you run fast," he breathed, clutching at his side. "And that means something, coming from me."

"Yeah, aren't you one of those jocks? I thought you were, like, really sporty," Chris said without faltering at all.

"I thought so, too."

They walked around the building a little, and found a ramp leading up to the side of the building. They sat there for a few hours, talking about everything and nothing all at once. Nolan told stories about his- in Chris's opinion- awfully judgmental friends, and Chris told stories about Jonathan and Penny. It was a pleasant afternoon overall.

"And so I told him that if he was going to keep taking my food, then I was going to have to retaliate," Chris said.

"Did you?"

"Oh yeah," Chris deviously grinned. "I'm fairly certain he still doesn't know it yet, but I slipped a rather gigantic picture of a sheep into his math book. So, whenever he finally gets to the chapter on... sine graphs or whatever, he'll be pleasantly surprised. Or he'll have a heart attack. He hates sheep."

Nolan laughed as he shook his head a little. "You're hilarious."

"I don't believe you, but thanks."

"You should believe me, I wouldn't lie to you." Nolan turned his head to stare off into the open air, and he winced a bit before he spoke again. "I have to ask you something."

"What?"

"Do you like... that Jonathan kid? I mean, I know you're friends with him, but sometimes in gym class I see you guys talking, and it just seems like maybe..." Nolan lowered his head and lowered his voice, "Or I could just be jealous."

The corners of Chris's lips turned up a bit. He was rather touched by Nolan's interest, and so he decided to lay his hand along Nolan's jaw and place a soft kiss on his lips. "I think I should be getting home soon."

"Me too... but you didn't answer my question."

Chris made a strained expression and sighed. "It doesn't really matter either way, does it? He has a girlfriend."

Nolan narrowed his eyes. "Who, Angelica? I thought she broke up with him last week."

"She did? Well, he never told me..." Chris trailed off into his own thoughts, staring down at the ground with a look of confusion. After a minute or so of wondering why Jonathan wouldn't have told him if it was true, he looked back up at Nolan. "I would say that we should do this again some time..."

"... but we'd have to sneak around?" Nolan asked, a tiny bit of him hoping that wasn't the correct ending to the sentence. Sadly, he was let down as Chris nodded.

"Yeah, and I've done that before and it's not really something I want to do again."

"I understand." Nolan gave a smile, sad, but empathetic. "I'll see you in school, then."

They hugged goodbye and parted ways, though it wasn't for very long; Chris had walked not five feet before he spun around again.

"Nolan?" Nolan slowed down and turned to face him, waiting expectantly. "You're a very nice boy. No one should hate you for being you."

Nolan stared back at Chris and soaked in the words, and while he was doing so, Chris took the opportunity to leave again. This time he continued until he reached home, where he was almost immediately interrogated by Jonathan.

"Where were you?" he asked, arms folded and back leaning against the kitchen doorway. "I was waiting for you outside the school for ages, then I thought maybe you were already on the bus, but you weren't. And then I thought maybe you stayed after, but you didn't come home."

"I was hanging out with someone," Chris said. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you, but I didn't get the chance to-"

"That's another thing- I didn't see you in lunch, either. I was starting to worry..."

"I went to the library," Chris explained. "Sorry."

Jonathan noticed the frown on Chris's face and decided that maybe he was being too hard on Chris. He softened a bit, unfolding his arms and breezily walking away from the kitchen.

"It's OK," he said, "I was just afraid that maybe something had happened to you."

"Is Penny home yet?" Chris asked.

"Not yet."

Chris stared at Jonathan sadly, and in a low voice he asked, "Jay, how come you didn't tell me about Angelica?"

Jonathan froze for a bit, taken aback and searching in his mind for an answer. "I... Well, it was a few weeks ago. I was going to tell you, but that was when you went out with James and you came home and you were crying and I didn't think that I should bother you with it."

"Bother-? No, Jay, you could have told me," Chris said. "Forget about whatever stupid things are going on in my life, if you have a problem you can talk to me about it. You're much more important than I am."

Jonathan stared down at the ground, watching as he wiggled his toes a bit. "She broke up with me over the phone."

"Aw, Jay." Within seconds Chris's feet were by his own, Chris's arms wrapped around his shoulders.

"Well, I mean, I'm not completely devastated or anything. It sucks, but I'll get over it."

"There are plenty of fish in the sea, right?" Chris said, looking into Jonathan's eyes and dropping his arms to his side. "For both of us."

"I'm taking it didn't go so well with... whoever?" Jonathan asked.

"No, it went great." Chris smiled, then shrugged. "But he doesn't want people to know, and I don't want that."

"Right..." Jonathan folded his arms again, but not in a threatening way- he merely had nothing better to do with them. "So, what did you go to the library for?"

"Oh, uh, I had some homework I needed to finish," Chris convincingly lied. "I should really start doing more of it at home."

"I would say so, if you need to take an entire lunch period to do it." Chris panicked for a moment, thinking that Jonathan sounded a little skeptical, but it soon passed. His quizzical expression changed to one most resembling concern. "Man, aren't you starving? When's the last time you ate?"

Chris's eyes widened and his mouth fell open a bit as he realized the answer to Jonathan's question. "This morning. Whoa."

He quickly rushed past Jonathan and into the kitchen to find something to eat. He nearly passed right by the table, but something caught his eyes- a bright pink sticky note with his name written in very dark, very bold letters. Chris picked it up, and his eyes laid upon the plate of food beside it. He spun around to see Jonathan waiting in the doorway, smiling at him.

Chris turned around again slowly, collapsed in the chair, and started to pick at some of the food. It felt wonderful to eat again, and he suddenly felt incredibly lucky that he only had to go for hours without eating, rather than days like people in other, less fortunate parts of the world.

"You're such a good friend," Chris crooned with his mouth partially full, though careful not to spit chunks across the table.

Jonathan gave a small laugh and swiftly walked towards the table. "As are you."

Chris bit his lip and smiled as he held the note between his fingers, the hope rising in his chest as his newly single best friend sat down beside him.


	6. Chapter 6

Chris looked down at the tiny folded piece of paper that was trying to be handed to him. He looked up to the girl whose arm was stretched out. He took a few seconds and blinked at her with slight contempt, though really he was stalling so he could remember her name. He failed, but he felt that he should still speak to her.

"You can talk to me, you know," he said. "It's not like class has started yet."

The girl dejectedly pulled her hand back. "Fine," she sighed. "Are you going to the dance on Friday?"

"There's a dance?" he uninterestedly asked.

"Yes, and I think you should go. And, you know, maybe we could go together." She smiled at him and bat her eyelashes a few times. Chris narrowed his eyes at her.

"No," he slowly replied. When he didn't continue, the girl took great offense.

"No? That's it?" she shrieked. "Just no?"

"You... You do realize that I'm gay, right?" Chris asked her. "It's nothing personal, I'm sure you're a nice girl."

"You are?" She laughed a bit to cover up her mistake and said, "Well, I mean, I'd heard people say things... but I thought those were just rumors." Chris shook his head, and the girl sighed and sat back in her seat. "Isn't that a bit unfair?"

"What?"

"Well, there are plenty of girls in the world, right? Plenty of girls to like boys." She sat forward once more, enthusiastically trying to make her point to Chris. "If boys like boys, then who's gonna like all those girls?"

Chris was, at first, unsure of what to say in response. He stared at her questioningly for a while until he finally thought of something. "There are enough boys who do like girls. I don't think you have anything to worry about."

The girl thought about it, her eyebrows burrowed in deep concentration. "Well, I still don't think it's fair."

"Life's not fair," Chris said. "Does that make you feel better?"

"No-" the girl began, disappointed, before she was cut off by the class beginning. All throughout the rest of the period, Chris thought he saw her shooting nasty and annoyed looks in his direction, but he just ignored it. And when the class ended and the students were terrifically glad to know their school day was over, Chris walked behind her and was nearly hit with the door on his way out.

He walked through the hallways like he always did, drifting along and thinking about other things until he finally reached his locker. He heard the people talking around him, but like always he tuned it out until the noise was just a dull roar.

As he stood in front of his locker, backpack in one hand and books in the other, he felt something collide with his shoulder. His arm jerked forward and his books were sent tumbling to the ground, where they scattered themselves across the floor. He dropped his backpack, bent down and apathetically gathered the fallen items.

Just after he stuffed his books in his bag, his hand reached out for his sacred dark purple folder, but someone else grabbed it before he did. Chris looked up to see Jonathan towering over him, examining the outside of the folder in his hands. Chris stood up and tried to gently pry it away.

"Drop your stuff?" Jonathan asked.

"Yeah, I guess I shouldn't try to hold more than I physically can," Chris quickly brushed it off. He tried again to get his folder, this time with more urgency. "Can I have that back? Please?"

Jonathan narrowed his eyes suspiciously, but ultimately handed the folder to Chris then leaned against the wall. He lightly sighed. "Angelica is seeing someone else now... apparently," he mentioned.

Chris looked up as he swung his arms through the straps on his backpack. "I'm sorry," he sincerely said, and reached a hand out and placed it kindly on Jonathan's shoulder.

"Thanks man." Then Jonathan did something strange- at least, Chris thought so. For some reason, he moved his hand over Chris's and kept it there for about two seconds, though it felt like an eternity to Chris.

"Yeah," Chris replied, ignoring the sudden sickness he felt. "Now let's get going. To the buses, away!" he cheered with fake enthusiasm.

Jonathan began to walk first, and as Chris followed he rolled his eyes and exhaled in agony. Once they had reached the outside, Chris shuffled over so he was walking beside Jonathan.

"So, Jay, how was the rest of your day?"

"It was all right," Jonathan shrugged in reply. "Pretty much the same as always. Yours?"

"Same. Oh, but something did happen in Chemistry!" Chris chirped. He stopped talking, though, as they reached the bus. Jonathan allowed Chris to go in front of him, and Chris quickly clamored up the steps. He was scanning the bus for empty seats, walking towards the back, when suddenly Jonathan saw him begin to fall. Luckily, Chris caught himself by grabbing a hold of one of the seats and correcting his balance. He quickly continued on, collapsing down in a nearby seat and waiting for Jonathan.

Jonathan slowly walked back to where Chris was, and he noticed two boys laughing to themselves, the one boy's foot hanging out into the aisle just a little bit. As he sat down, he watched them with a look of utter disgust and confusion, and he turned to find Chris smiling at him, acting like nothing happened.

"Chris-"

"Oh, I know, I'm so clumsy," Chris airily laughed.

"You..." Jonathan was at a total loss for words.

"I... should watch where I'm going? Yeah, I know, and I should learn to tie my shoes better, too." Chris lifted his legs back some, sliding his feet underneath the seat to hide his perfectly tied laces. "It's all good. So anyway, like I was saying before- Chemistry."

"What happened in Chemistry?" Jonathan asked, though his mind was still on the preceding events.

"That girl you thought likes me," Chris began, motioning with his hand, "I can't remember her name, but she asked me to the dance. So I guess you were right."

"Oh. Well, that's good," Jonny unenthusiastically replied. "Did she... not know... or whatever?"

"She knew, but she didn't think it was true." Chris lowered his eyes thoughtfully and stared off into space. "I don't think she likes me much anymore."

"Good," Jonathan almost immediately said, with much more interest than before. Chris noticed, of course, and so Jonathan tried to hide it. "I mean, maybe she'll leave you alone now. Girls can be annoying sometimes."

Chris nodded along. "Boys are much better. Except they don't like to admit that."

"I don't think they're that much better," Jonathan laughed. "They can be total assholes, which is probably way worse than being annoying."

"Some of them are very sweet," Chris bashfully replied. "But you're right, others are just... jerks."

"Which one am I?"

Chris glanced up and made a quick decision. "You, Jay," he slowly began, "are the biggest jerk I know."

Jonathan stared at him for a few seconds, then pumped his fist in the air. "Yes! Life mission accomplished."

"You deserve some sort of award." Chris spread his hands out in front of him on some sort of imaginary banner. "Jonathan- he puts the 'Jay' in 'jerk'. Wonderful."

Jonathan just watched Chris and laughed as the bus rolled to a stop outside their house. As he had taken the aisle seat, Jonathan stood up and walked off the bus first, but Chris ran past him and into the house once they were on the ground. Jonathan laughed again; he was always amused by Chris's crazy antics.

When he walked through the hallway to the stairs, he passed by the kitchen doorway and noticed that Chris had sat himself down at the table. Jonathan decided his room could wait, and he joined Chris.

"Having fun?" Chris quickly shot his head up, revealing a glass of water sitting in front of him.

"Having water, Jonathan. You can't drink fun." Chris scanned his eyes over the air momentarily, then shrugged. "Or you could try to, but I think that would look very awkward."

Chris took a sip of his water as Jonathan sat down. "I'm sure you could do it," Jonathan said, "you pull off awkward very well."

Chris held his head high and grinned. "Well, thank you." He began to drum his fingers on the surface of the table for a bit before springing to his feet. "I'll be right back, I have to pee really bad now. I think it's that water, maybe there's too much fun in it..." He stopped for a moment, rethinking what he has just said, then decided it wasn't worth thinking about twice. Instead, he just left.

Jonathan saw Chris's backpack just laying on the table, almost asking to be searched. He wasn't sure why he had the desire to do it, he just did. Something about Chris's behavior as of late had him feeling that maybe not everything was as perfect as Chris made it out to be. He was just concerned, that's all.

What he really wanted to know more about was the dark purple folder, anyway. Chris had seemed to protect it so dearly that it must have contained some top secret information. Jonathan felt a twinge of guilt as he grabbed the folder, but he kept telling himself that it was for Chris's own good.

He let it rest before him for a few moments before opening it, mostly to prepare himself. He didn't know what to expect, really, so he tried to not expect anything.

The folder opened with ease, as most folders usually do, and the left side gently fell to the table. Jonathan looked at the papers inside, trying to decipher the messy handwriting.

It was a story of some sort, and from what Jonathan gathered it was written by Chris. He knew he didn't have time to read all of it, but he read the first page, then just flipped through and counted the rest. There were around a hundred pages, Jonathan estimated, and he stared at it in awe. He was so captivated by it, in fact, that he forgot to make sure he put the folder back before Chris returned.

"What are you doing?"

Jonathan froze, his heart racing. He snapped the folder shut and pushed it aside.

"Nothing," he brightly said, clasping his hands in front of him. "What- what are you doing?"

"You went through my stuff," Chris said. He was breathing heavily, nearly hyperventilating, and that Jonathan felt the twinge again. "Jay!"

"Yeah," Jonathan admitted, really ashamed. "I'm sorry."

"What did you see?" Chris quietly asked, rushing over to his backpack.

"Your story... Chris, why would hide that?"

"Because I..." he strongly began, but lost his explanation along the way. He waved his hands around to find it, but he failed in the end. "I don't know."

"So, you wrote a story," Jonathan said. "Who cares?"

"I wrote more than one," Chris said in a hushed voice.

"You did?"

Chris ducked his head and scratched the back of his neck. "Yeah, well, I like to write."

"How come you never mentioned it before?" Jonathan asked, grabbing the folder again and reopening it. "Chris, from what I read, you're really good. You could be a writer or something, if you wanted."

"Really, you think so?" Chris replied with big, dreamy eyes. He sat down beside Jonathan. "I... I guess I just never thought about it that way. I was always... I was always told to become a doctor, or lawyer, or whatever."

"By who, your parents?" Chris looked up with a sadness that confirmed Jonathan's question. "Chris, this is going to sound really rude and insensitive, and I apologize in advance, but..." Jonathan bit his lip and took a deep breath to lessen the pain, even though he didn't really understand how that would work. "...your parents don't care about you. OK? If they did, you wouldn't be here right now, in this house."

"I guess you're right," Chris hoarsely replied. He looked down at his hands laying in his lap and he felt a weird jolt as Jonathan placed his hand on Chris's shoulder.

"If you don't want to be a doctor, or a lawyer, or on whatever ridiculous pedestal your parents tried to place you, then you don't have to be. Just be you, OK?"

Chris said nothing for a while, his mind clouded by thoughts of his parents, his future, and his present; Jonathan's hand still rested on his shoulder.

"Mum and I, we care about you now. And- well, I can't speak for her exactly, but all we want is for you to be happy. All I want is for you to be happy." Jonathan tightened his grip a little, then let go and sat back in his chair. He looked at the folder again. "You wrote more than just this one?"

Chris slowly looked at Jonathan. "Wanna see 'em?"

"Sure."

Chris stood up, reached across the table, and grabbed his backpack. He led Jonathan up the stairs and down the hall to his room. He threw his bag on the floor by the door and crawled over his bed to his nightstand.

The drawer was filled with a multitude of folders similar to the purple one, though differing in color. Chris tried to grab all of them at once, which he eventually did, and he set them down on the bed with a hefty grunt.

"There are... ten, I think," he said as Jonathan sat down, staring in amazement. "Two of them I wrote over the summer."

"Is this what you've been doing in here, then?" Jonathan asked, pointing to the stack of folders. "Writing?"

"Yeah. Writing and reading." Chris followed Jonathan's gaze and glanced down at the folders. "You can look at them, read them, if you want. I... I can't say they're all that great, but... If you want."

Chris pushed the stack towards Jonathan a little. Jonathan reached for one of the folders, logically taking the top one. As he read, Chris watched on, anxious and feeling very vulnerable. He tried to distract himself by examining various random things around his room, but nothing worked.

Jonathan flipped a page, and Chris's stomach flipped itself. It was awful, the waiting, and he felt like screaming and throwing something at the wall. But he knew that wouldn't make time go faster.

Jonathan must have sensed Chris's worry, because he stopped reading halfway through a page and said, "You're really talented, man. I mean, I'm no expert on literature or anything, but this is fantastic."

Chris smiled, though in truth Jonathan's compliment only made him worry more. He fidgeted as Jonathan continued to read, and suddenly decided that his energy would work best channeled into writing. He snatched his folder out of his bag and took a pen from his drawer. Fervently, he scribbled things down, until he realized that he had written 3 pages worth of story and Jonathan was now looking at him, his attention having been diverted from reading.

"You... are amazing," Jonathan said. "How can you write that fast?"

"I don't know," Chris shrugged, "It just... kinda pours out of me, you know?" Chris looked over the papers and chuckled. "I doubt any of it's good."

"I don't," Jonathan said, then went back to reading. Chris went through what he had written, crossing things out, adding things in the margins. Then he wrote some more, and edited that. Jonathan sat quietly at his side the entire time, and quickly an hour had passed, then two. Penny came home sometime during the third, and was rather surprised to find the house seemingly empty and eerily quiet.

She was not worried as she walked through the house searching for the boys, merely curious as to where they were; she had a few ideas.

"What are you boys up to?" she casually asked from Chris's doorway.

"Reading-"

"Writing."

"Oh." Penny waited for a few moments, as if expecting further explanation. When she didn't receive any, she cleared her throat and spoke again. "Reading and writing what?"

Somehow she knew that the answer would be a vague, "Story," from the both of them, but she asked it anyway. She nodded her head, accepting that she wasn't going to get much more detail than that, and began to leave.

"Penny?" She stopped, turned around and saw Chris looking up at her. "Would you like to read one of my stories?"

She didn't know what to say at first, but soon enough she agreed. Chris eagerly handed her a folder with much more confidence than he had with Jonathan. She stood and read, while Chris beamed at her.

"Jay said I could be a writer," he said. "Right, Jay?"

Jonathan nodded, too wrapped up in the story to really answer Chris. But Chris was satisfied with that, and Penny seemed to be impressed.

"Well, I think he's right. This is very good." Her eyes scanned the page. "How long have you been writing?"

"A few years," Chris answered. "I never told anyone... I didn't think anyone would care. And I didn't think it would matter, anyway."

The room went suddenly silent, Penny and Jonathan both consumed in his writing. Chris lost a tiny bit of his happiness, but it didn't matter much. Watching the two people who he realized actually cared about him, he began to feel like he was much closer to finally being a whole person, finally being exactly who he wanted to be.


	7. Chapter 7

Jonathan knew something was wrong. It was Chris's general demeanor that tipped him off; at the moment, he was adamantly frowning at his lunch. In general, Chris would look sad every now and then, but usually for no more than a few moments. It was always just a very quick expression that danced across his face and was gone as soon as it came, almost impossible to catch.

Chris hadn't said a word to Jonathan since they sat down. He hadn't eaten anything, either. He just sat and stared. Jonathan wanted to ask what was wrong, but he knew he wasn't going to get a straight answer, so he didn't even bother. But it really upset him to see Chris looking so down.

On the bus, Chris sat by the window with his head resting on the pane. Jonathan watched him the whole time. When they got off the bus, Chris walked a little slower and just barely kept up with Jonathan, his feet audibly dragging along the gravel of the driveway.

"I'm gonna be in my room," he quietly said, standing in Jonathan's doorway as Jonathan set his backpack on his bed. "Writing... In case you need me."

"OK." Jonathan stepped over to his doorway to watch as Chris trudged to his room.

He waited downstairs for a few hours until Penny arrived home. He assumed that Chris had been in his room the entire time, though he wasn't entirely convinced that Chris was writing.

The door creaked open slowly and Penny entered her home. Exhausted already, she carelessly hung up her coat and began to make her way to the living room.

"Mum?" Penny turned to where the sound of her son's voice was coming from, which also happened to be the kitchen. "Can I talk to you about something?"

"What is it?" she brightly asked. She was tired, but she could forget about it to focus on her son, and so she walked over to where he stood.

"It's about Chris." Penny raised an eyebrow, silently guessing at what to expect, and Jonathan continued, "Well, he seems really... upset today. And I'm worried about him, because... he doesn't get treated so well in school."

"I'd imagine it's tough for him."

"Yeah, like the other day we were on the bus, and some kid tripped him. And when I was with him at his locker, he was picking up his books, and I'm pretty sure that he didn't just drop them himself." Jonathan sighed in frustration. "Mum, he just stands there and takes it, and then he acts like the freaking stuff was his fault and pretends it never happened!"

Penny nodded a little. "Jonathan, some people deal with things in different ways."

"I know, but you should have seen him today. I've never seen him look so... sad." Jonathan looked down at his feet and shrugged. "I'm just afraid that maybe it's finally getting to him. But I know he won't say anything on his own."

"Maybe we should have a talk with him, then," Penny said, then she reached out and tilted Jonathan's head back up. "Would that make you feel better?"

"I guess."

"Would what make you feel better?" a small voice asked. Chris was suddenly in their company, still frowning with every syllable he spoke. "Jay, are you having more problems?"

Jonathan was slightly touched by Chris's concern, but also a little angry that Chris was obviously trying to avoid his own problems. "No, but I think you are," he said.

"What do you mean?" Chris's eyes were something of a mixture between fear and despair, and Jonathan noticed they looked a little glossy.

Jonathan glanced at Penny, and she gave him a nod to tell him to go on. "It's just that you don't really seem like yourself today. You haven't talked so much, and you look kinda depressed."

"I've had kinda an off day," Chris shrugged. "Everyone gets those."

"You don't want to talk about it? Because, you know..." Jonathan paused, then quickly decided to forget about being gentle and kind. "Ah, hell, Chris, will you let something bother you once in a while? Or, tell people that it bothers you? You can't just let them treat you like garbage and not react at all!"

Chris stared for a while. At first his eyes were blank, but slowly the expression rushed to them and it was obvious he'd been holding back a lot.

Jonathan silently and patiently waited for Chris to finally speak, which only came after he nearly burst into tears. "Everyone hates me," he croaked, stepping forward and leaning into Jonathan. Jonathan wrapped his arms around Chris, having not nearly expected such an emotional reaction from him.

"No, no," Jonathan soothed, rubbing his hand across Chris's back. "I don't hate you."

"Everyone else hates me," Chris sobbed, though muffled a bit by Jonathan's shoulder. "They all hate me, I know they do."

"They're ridiculous. But you shouldn't just let them say or do those things to you. You should stand up for yourself once in a while."

Chris started shaking his head, then he looked up. Jonathan almost felt like crying himself at the sight of teardrops clinging to Chris's eyelashes and sliding down his cheeks. Penny stood off to the side, merely observing the interaction between the two boys.

"The names I can handle. They're just names, they don't mean anything to me. The physical... abuse... is.... discouraging... but I can deal with that, too, even if it's not as easy," he said. He inhaled sharply and his breath shook a little at the end. "This m-morning, I was at my locker, and Devon came up to me-"

"Oh God," Jonathan muttered under his breath.

"Well, he was telling me that I have to watch Ty this weekend because Kirsten's going away, and I said OK." Chris stopped, frowning again with trembling lips and trying to fight back more tears. "Then, like, out of nowhere he told me that I'm d-disgusting and I should j-just go di.... I know they hate me! I hear everything they think they're saying behind my back, but no one's ever wanted me dead."

Chris's voice cracked on the last word, and he back away and buried his face in his hands; Penny was already on the phone with Lorraine.

"Hey, Lorraine.... Well, actually, not so well. It seems that there was a rather nasty exchange of words between your son and Chris earlier, and, well, it doesn't seem like Chris was the one saying them... Yeah, that's fine... Yeah, see you soon, then."

Jonathan took a step and tried to get Chris to look at him. "Chris, you know Devon. You know he's not exactly right in the head. Don't-"

"Yeah, I do know," Chris abruptly snapped, his voice still clogged with sadness, "but it doesn't change the fact that he still said it. He just said what everyone else is thinking."

Penny, having just hung up the phone, decided to interject; she felt that she could probably do a better job with the situation than Jonathan, though she meant no offense to him.

"Chris, someone saying that to you is definitely not something you should take lightly, and you probably should have mentioned it to someone a lot sooner," she said, resting her hand on his arm. "But please don't think that because he and other people don't accept who you are, you should change... and especially not taking any... drastic measures to do so."

"Of course not," he said. "I don't want to change, I just want people to like me the way I am."

"I think most people want that. Unfortunately, given your situation it seems rather unlikely."

Chris nodded sadly, then Penny suggested they all wait in the living room, as Lorraine would soon be arriving with Devon and Ty. Chris sat up against the armrest of the couch, looking as if he were trying to sink into the cushions. Jonathan sat beside him, angry that he could have ever been friends with anyone as awful as Devon- even though Devon had not always been that way- and filled with a strong desire to hug Chris again and make him understand just how much he meant to him.

Penny greeted the company at the door, and Chris followed a little reluctantly. He took Ty- fast asleep in his car seat- and all of Ty's things up to his room, and returned downstairs a few minutes later with a baby monitor in his hands. He took his seat beside Jonathan and waited for someone else to speak.

It seemed as though the rest of the room was doing the very same, though; Lorraine was merely staring at Devon, who looked thoroughly bored, and Penny and Jonathan each glanced back and forth between Chris and Devon, both seated on either side of Jonathan.

"'S anyone gonna say anything?" Devon droned, checking the cleanliness of his fingernails.

"It seems like someone already said something," Lorraine told him. She kept her voice quiet, but her tone was very aggressive.

Devon looked up at her with a blank expression. "Oh, right, 'cause it's all my fault."

"Well, then, whose fault is it?"

"Oh, I don't know," he sarcastically remarked, shrugging and looking around the room, "where are we? Who are we here because of?"

Lorraine folded her arms, frustrated enough with Devon that she looked like she might blow smoke any second. "Chris did something to... antagonize you? He forced you to say whatever it is you said to him?"

"Told me to die," Chris quietly interrupted, head tilted down so he was speaking to the armrest.

In complete disbelief, Lorraine blinked at her son, then took a deep breath and held up her hands. She tried several times to speak, but couldn't find the right words. Finally, she settled on a forced, "Why?"

"'Cause... you know." Devon seemed to find it a suitable answer, but Lorraine was not so pleased. Devon sighed and rolled his eyes. "We were talking about Ty... You know what Chris is like."

Lorraine shook her head. "Devon, you better start making sense if you're trying to worm your way out of this."

"Come on, mum," Devon practically muttered, "Chris... maybe not the greatest role model..."

"Why, because I'm gay?" Chris suddenly shouted at Devon, his voice cracking. "You can say it, you know. You don't think your nephew should be raised by a fag."

Devon looked over at Chris with narrowed eyes, then spitefully replied, "Yeah."

Chris frowned and returned to addressing the armrest; Lorraine's temper flared, and some in the room felt they understood a little more where Devon had inherited his anger issues from, though she certainly had reason to yell.

"Devon! First of all, Chris is a fantastic father," she leaned forward in her seat and towards Devon in an attempt to be threatening, "and second of all, it doesn't matter what you think. If Kirsten is OK with Chris raising Ty, then he'll raise Ty."

"You don't like it either," Devon retorted. "Oh, but that doesn't matter, everyone always has to single out Devon, he's the crazy one!"

Devon laughed and waved his hands around, which really didn't help his case. Lorraine tried her absolute hardest to remain civilized.

"Do you even realize the consequence that could have had? Devon, you said that to him, he could have come home today and killed himself. That's what you want?" Devon stared at her, silently, but challengingly. Lorraine took the last of her deep breaths, and quietly continued, "I think at the very least, you own him an apology. The rest we'll talk about at home."

Devon, extremely reluctant, turned his head towards Chris. He leaned forward to see past Jonathan, then monotonously said, "Sorry, Chris."

Chris looked back at him and started to shake his head. "No, you're not," he said, matter-of-factly. The he sat back and brought his feet up on the couch, knees to his chest.

"No one ever believes me," Devon mumbled crossly to himself.

Lorraine temporarily ignored the stupidity of her son to acknowledge the rest of the room. "I'm very sorry for ruining your evening, especially to you, Chris. Please know that Devon doesn't always think things through all the way, even after quite some time has passed. I'm so terribly sorry."

"You don't have anything to be sorry about," Chris told her. "It's not your fault."

"I think in a tiny way it is." She halfheartedly smiled, then returned to Devon. "As for you... I'm beginning to think your father was right about you being released too early..." her voice lowered to a grave tone, "or maybe there's just no hope for you."

Everyone around felt the coldness, but Devon didn't appear to be affected by it. Lorraine wished them all a good rest-of-the-evening, and she and Devon left. Penny, Jonathan, and Chris all remained in their seats for a while, completely silent.

"What time is it?" Chris asked no one in particular.

"Almost nine," Penny replied as she looked at the clock on the wall. Chris stretched his arms a little and sat up.

"I think I'm gonna go to bed now. 'Night, guys." Chris walked around the couch and towards the doorway as Penny and Jonathan bid him goodnight, but he stopped before he made it all the way. "Thank you both... for... everything."

He tried to smile, then went back to leaving. The stairs seemed long and mountainous as his tired legs climbed them; he would have much rather just fallen asleep right then and there. But he found as he finally did make it up to his room that it was going to be nearly impossible for him to get any rest.

Since his eyes refused to close, he just laid down and watched as Ty slept beside him. He tried to think things over, but his mind was racing so fast that every little thought was a complete blur. It seemed like the only thing he could focus on was Ty.

"Ty, you're lucky you're just a baby," Chris quietly said. "A cute, tiny, little baby. 'Cause you don't have to deal with all this horrible stuff that people like to do."

Ty breathed, his tiny chest rising and falling ever so slightly. His curls were nearly covering his ears, and they rustled a little as Chris sighed.

"It's not like it's my fault," Chris continued. "I think I'm a rather likable person. Much more than I was a year ago, that's for sure. But no one likes me, Ty, they all hate me."

Chris never noticed the dark figure of a teenage boy standing nearby and peeking in through the crack the slightly open door made. Jonathan hadn't intended on spying on Chris, he was just passing by on his way to the bathroom when he heard Chris's voice. By this point, though, the bathroom had been forgotten, and Chris's privacy secretly invaded.

"What Lorraine said... I would never kill myself. That's just awful. I couldn't do that to you, or... well, I'm sure Penny and Jay would care, right?" he asked, teeming with uncertainty.

"Yes," Jonathan whispered to himself.

Chris went on without faltering; it wasn't as if he had suddenly realized Jonathan was standing there. "I don't want to die, anyway. I like being alive."

Ty moved a little in his sleep, and Chris smiled. He reached out and gently smoothed down some of Ty's wild curls. Though now he wished he hadn't done it for the reason he had, Chris was quite glad he'd cut off his own curls. Spring would be arriving soon, and then in the blink of an eye, summer would be upon them; masses of hair combined with sweltering heat did not make for a happy, comfortable person.

"People are going to love you, I can tell. Your mum and I already do... that's more than I have." Chris took his hand back and rested both of his hands under his head. "And they're going to love you even when you're not a cute, tiny, little baby. People love babies. I think they have to. It's just a thing, like it's almost impossible not to. But even when you're not a baby anymore, when you're a kid, or a teenager like me, people will love you."

Jonathan still watched on, deeply trying to suppress the urge to jump in and tell Chris that he was loved, too. It seemed like Chris would never see that not exactly the whole world was against him; his best friend was certainly far from that.

"Oh, God, Ty," Chris began, suddenly sounding very worried, "please don't ever hate me. If you hate me... I don't know what I'd do."

Jonathan decided that it was time for him to leave now; he'd kindly been reminded that he had yet to go to the bathroom, and figured that he should get to it right away. It was a shame, though, that he didn't get to hear the next part of Chris's speech.

"You or Jonathan. If Jonathan... He means so much to me, Ty. I don't think he loves me, at least not in that way... but I love him." Chris felt like he was now telling this to himself rather than Ty. After all this time, he was finally admitting it to himself. "I still love him."


	8. Chapter 8

Chris picked up the spoon, scooping out the reddish orange goo from the tiny jar in his other hand. It looked disgusting and delicious all at once, but he was definitely glad he didn't have to eat it.

"Oh, what, you want this?" he said to Ty, who was sitting in his high chair around the corner of the table from Chris and eying the spoon with a blank expression. Chris held the spoon closer to Ty, and Ty crinkled his nose a little. "I know, it doesn't look so appetizing, does it?"

Ty continued to make a weird face, twitching his mouth a little. Out of the corner of his eye, Chris saw something flash near the doorway.

"Well, let me tell you something," Chris said in a low voice, "neither did that stuff Jay made a while ago, but I still ate that."

"Hey!" Jonathan swung his head around the corner of the doorway, eyebrows scrunched in an insulted way. He quickly decided to show his entire body, and walked into the room. "You said you liked my casserole."

"I did," Chris nodded. "I never said it wasn't good, just that it didn't look good. Big difference."

"Well..." Jonathan fumbled for a comeback. He knew he had one somewhere, in some back corner of his mind. "It's still mean."

"It's not mean, it's honest," Chris retorted in an overly pretentious manner, holding his chin high and sticking his nose in the air. Jonathan laughed and rolled his eyes, and Chris made a serious attempt to make Ty eat the awful-looking baby food.

"Come on, you know you want to eat it," Chris sang, waving the spoon in front of Ty. "It's super yummy!"

"I don't think you're convincing him," Jonathan said from his new spot standing behind Chris. He gripped the back of Chris's chair and leaned over Chris's shoulder. "It wouldn't convince me."

Chris turned his head a little, narrowing his eyes at Jonathan and trying to ignore their closeness. He swung his arm around to shove the spoon and its contents in Jonathan's face, but he moved too quickly, and the reddish orange goo flew off the spoon and hit Jonathan right in the nose.

Chris alertly widened his eyes and bit his lip to fight back laughter that was threatening to break free from its place in his throat. Jonathan stood momentarily, mouth agape, then excused himself and stalked off to the bathroom to clean himself up. Chris watched him as he left, still stifling a giggle, then slowly turned his head towards Ty.

"Don't give me that look!" Chris set down the jar of baby food and pointed his finger at Ty. "Listen, kid, you don't know what it's like, OK? It's not easy pretending, but it's not like I can tell him or anything."

Ty blinked a few times in response.

"Jonathan likes girls. He doesn't like me," Chris said. He picked up the jar again and took out another spoonful. This time, Ty finally opened his mouth and ate, much more eager than before. Like Jonathan's casserole, it tasted much better than it looked.

"See? It's no so bad," Chris told him. "Just wait until I have to make real food for you. Then you're in for it."

Ty had made it over halfway through the jar before Jonathan returned. He walked back in and shot a rather peeved look at Chris, who wasn't paying attention just then anyway. But, as always, he quickly decided that he couldn't really be mad at Chris.

"Hey, look who's back," Chris excitedly said as Jonathan stopped beside him. "And baby food-free!"

"Yeah, no thanks to some people," Jonathan said with slight annoyance.

"Sorry," Chris sheepishly said. Ty took another spoonful of goo.

"It's OK," Jonathan assured Chris. "I'm gonna make some tea, do you want any?"

"Yeah, that would be nice." Chris waited until Jonathan was near the counter, then spun around in his seat. "Thanks."

Jonathan turned back and smiled. The look in his pale green eyes made Chris's heart beat a little faster and he began to wonder just a little.

Chris looked to Ty and shrugged. "You know what, Ty? I should take you on a walk later, if it's not too cold out. Maybe Jonathan could come, too." Chris winked at Ty, then waited for an answer.

"I don't think it's supposed to be very warm today," Jonathan said. "But I guess."

Chris smiled, but shook his head at Ty. "Doesn't mean anything," he whispered.

Ty continued to eat, until finally the jar was empty. Chris looked into the jar with fake surprise, then clapped and tried to give Ty a high-five. Ty laughed at him.

"Chris," Jonathan called. When Chris looked up, he nodded to the kettle and opened the cupboard to grab two mugs.

Chris slid over next to Jonathan, keeping an eyes on Ty across the room as he waited for Jonathan to finish pouring his cup. But, much to Chris's surprise, Jonathan handed the cup to Chris.

"Aw, Jay, you're so nice," Chris said while grasping the cup in his hands. He took a sip and watched Jonathan over the rim. The hot liquid glided down his throat and settled in his churning stomach.

"So, how are you doing?" Jonathan casually asked before taking a drink from his own mug.

"I'm all right." Chris halfheartedly smiled and shrugged. "You know, it... it's tough."

"Some people never have any clue what they're talking about," Jonathan said, intending on enveloping more meaning than he really did.

"Jay, why are you such a good friend to me?" The question seemed rhetorical, though somewhere deep down Chris knew he was hoping for some sort of confession. "Only, I was so awful to you last year..."

"You're not awful to me." Chris had a momentary lapse in sanity and thought that maybe Ty had been on to something. He had to think for quite a while about what to say next, not wanting to ruin what he thought might be his best chance.

"Thank you. For your help. For all the help you've ever given me, which is a lot. I..." Chris placed his cup on the counter to free his arms, which he then used to wrap around Jonathan's shoulders. Jonathan set down his own mug and gladly returned the embrace with almost as much emotion as Chris was putting in.

Chris looked over at Ty, who was staring back with what Chris took to be an expression of encouragement. Silently he conversed with his son through various facial expressions- though it was more of a one-sided conversation- eventually coming to the conclusion that there was no time left to waste. He was young still, there was no point in spending his life simply wondering, and so he decided to find out exactly how Jonathan felt about him using the first method that came to mind.

He began to pull away from the hug, but immediately locked lips with Jonathan. It was very brief, since he didn't want to freak Jonathan out entirely, but it was enough to send his nerves in a tizzy and chills running down his spine. Jonathan felt that it wasn't enough, though, and so he took the liberty of meeting their mouths once more, this time with much more passion and tongue.

Chris smiled against Jonathan's lips and whispered, "I take it that means you like me."

"Yeah," Jonathan quietly replied before a small cooing sound came from the direction that Ty just happened to be sitting in. Chris craned his neck around to look, finding Ty smiling at them.

"Well, I think Ty approves."

"Oh-" Jonathan began, then turned his head back. "I forgot he was here." For a minute he worried that maybe he shouldn't have kissed Chris like that in front of a small baby, but it didn't seem to bother Chris very much. Then he thought maybe he should have been worried about Chris's carelessness. Eventually it passed.

"Jonathan," Chris said, and he waited for Jonathan to look at him again. "I love you. I just thought you should know that. I tried, I really did- I tried to get over you, but nothing worked. Like, with James... I really liked him, but it wasn't enough, I guess, to make me forget."

Jonathan nodded in agreement. "It was the same for me."

Chris scrunched his eyebrows up in confusion. "But, I- I thought that you said... I mean, when you... you told me that you never loved me. Not like that."

"I wasn't sure if I did," Jonathan said. "Now I am. I did. And I still do."

Chris raised one of his hands and lightly brushed Jonathan's cheek. "I missed this so much. I've had dreams about it before, but I tried to ignore those," Chris mumbled the end of his sentence, averting his eyes and staring at the ground.

Then Jonathan remembered all of his strange dreams, and he instantly knew what they must have meant. Staring into the face of the pretty blue-eyed boy in front of him, he felt that same desire to provide protection for him against the evils of the world, namely the jerks who populated their school. It would certainly be much easier to do if they were together.

"I missed it, too. But... I was a little afraid that it didn't matter, because you'd have moved on. It seemed like you did." Jonathan paused thoughtfully, then shrugged a shoulder. "Well, I mean, you said you tried, so... Anyway, I'm just..." Jonathan groaned and shook his head, trying to clear his mind. "I love you," he decisively said.

"I love you, too," Chris happily replied. He leaned in to kiss Jonathan again, but just as their lips touched there was a sound from the doorway. It sounded like a woman suddenly gasping, then clearing her throat.

"Mum!" Jonathan removed his hands from their former resting spot on Chris's waist, and Chris slowly took his arms back. "Uh..."

"Good morning, Penny," Chris smiled. "It is good, right? And I think it's still morning."

"It's an all right morning, I would say," Penny cautiously replied. "Though it seems like you boys have had a better time." Chris opened his mouth to explain, but Penny cut him off with a wave of her hand. "It's fine- Well, I think we need to have a talk, but it's fine."

"A talk, yeah, of course," Chris said, nodding his head along. "Of course."

"Yeah, but first I think I need something to wake me up." Penny stumbled into the kitchen and over to the boys, instinctively grabbing a mug from the cupboard. She was pleasantly surprised to find that someone had already made tea, which made her job a lot easier.

Penny sat down at the table, opposite of where Chris had been sitting with Ty. She looked utterly drained of any and all energy, which could have been odd considering she just woke up. Jonathan and Chris both made their way over to the table as well, sitting on the same side and facing Penny. She assumed from the start that they expected she wanted to talk with them at that moment; they were right. It would be a lot easier to just get it done and over with.

"You two are... together, I presume?" Penny asked.

"Yes," Jonathan almost immediately replied, catching Chris slightly off guard. It wasn't the answer, merely the quickness of it; Chris was thrilled by Jonathan's apparent enthusiasm.

"Yeah," he agreed with a small grin.

"For how long, exactly?"

Chris narrowed his eyes pensively. "Five minutes?" He shrugged. "Roughly. Is that all right?"

Penny raised her eyebrows impressively. "Well, it's about time. In all honesty, I expected this to happen much earlier." She thought to herself for a minute, absentmindedly nodding. "Right. I'm obviously not going to forbid you to be together, but we need to set some rules."

Penny took a break to drink some tea. Chris looked to Jonathan, slowly moving his hand over to rest it on Jonathan's thigh.

"Yeah, Chris, that's not gonna fly," Penny casually mentioned, still hiding behind her mug. Chris quickly pulled his hand back and tried to hide his embarrassment by making faces at Ty. Jonathan shifted in his chair a little.

"Can we get this over with? I'm starting to feel a bit awkward now," he said.

"Number one," Penny said, holding up a finger and taking one last sip of her tea, "no rooms with closed doors. Two, no inappropriate touching while others are in the room. Or for that matter, when they're not." Penny shot a look at Chris, then went on. "And please, please, do not be making out everywhere."

"Mum," Jonathan bashfully muttered. "You don't have to worry."

"I know, I'm just telling you know now so you can't say that I didn't later."

"What's it like outside?" Chris abruptly asked, still focusing on Ty. He reached forward and brushed some of Ty's hair out of his eyes.

"How the hell are any of us supposed to know? We've been inside all morning," Jonathan replied. "It's probably like it was yesterday- cold and boring."

"It wasn't that cold yesterday." Chris turned to Jonathan and smiled. "I was thinking we could go for a walk. Ty would love it. If you don't want to, that's fine."

"No, I'll go," Jonathan said. "It's not like there would be better things to do in here, anyway."

"Wonderful!" Chris jumped up on his feet and carefully lifted Ty from his high chair. "Come on, let's go bundle you up and then we're gonna go for a walk! You, me, and Jay. Isn't that great?"

Chris's voice trailed off as he and Ty left the room and headed for the stairs. Jonathan laughed to himself at Chris's silliness, partially giddy still from the memory of what it felt like to kiss his new- and, at the same time, old- boyfriend. His happiness only intensified when he reminded himself that this time there would be no secrets. They didn't have to hide.

"So, you love him?" Penny asked. Jonathan turned his eyes towards his mother with surprise. "You can say yes."

"Well, I- I mean, I- yeah." Jonathan ducked his head to cover his sudden flush.

"Good. That boy's been through a lot... You'll take good care of him." He looked over to the doorway where Chris had been not too long ago. Taking care of Chris- he liked the sound of that. Taking care of him, protecting him. Jonathan couldn't help smiling.

It seemed like forever before Chris finally reached the bottom of the bag containing Ty's things, where all of his clothes were stashed. Of course, there were only a few outfits, since he would only be there for the weekend.

Ty was laying on Chris's bed beside the bag, staring at the ceiling with his Chris-like blue eyes and waiting to be dressed in heavier clothing. The world was a strange place for him.

Soon Ty was fully prepared to brave the cold, wearing a rather thick navy blue jacket and an adorable knitted hat with ear flaps, and held up on Chris's side as he was carried down to the kitchen once more. Jonathan was waiting for them by the door, ready to go at any moment.

"Could you take him for a minute while I get my jacket?" Chris asked Jonathan, gently handing Ty over. Then he maneuvered around Jonathan and to the coat rack, where he grabbed a dark blue blazer and threw it over his shoulders. He fussed with the collar a bit, then buttoned it up. "Thank you."

"Not a problem," Jonathan said as he gave Ty back to Chris. Jonathan moved ahead and opened the door for Chris, then quickly shut it behind him before any of the cold air that hit them as they stood on the porch could make it inside the house.

"Ah, look, it's not that cold out here." Chris exhaled with force, looking rather smug about the lack of reaction from the air. "I can't even see my own breath."

"All right, it's not so bad today," Jonathan admitted. "Can we get to walking now?"

"Of course." Chris quickly began to walk down the porch steps and towards the sidewalk, not waiting for Jonathan at all. But Jonathan was just as quick and stayed beside Chris the entire time. "Jay, today is crazy, isn't it?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that it's not even noon yet, but so much has happened, it seems. Maybe not, but that certainly was a little awkward with your mum, huh?" Chris laughed, because truthfully it was nowhere near as awkward for him as he knew it had been for Jonathan.

"Oh my God, don't remind me," Jonathan moaned. He tried to forget it, but as he stared down at his feet all he could see on the passing pavement was image of his mother dictating the regulations of their relationship. His cheeks went a bit red again.

"Hey, at least we're in the clear." Chris stared at Jonathan, first happily, then with a bit of uncertainty. "But there is... one tiny matter to attend to..."

"What's that?" Jonathan asked.

"What are we going to do about school? Because, I mean, we don't have to let people know... Or we could let people know." Chris shrugged the shoulder that wasn't giving support to Ty's small body. "It's up to you, I guess. I already receive enough taunting now that it won't matter to me either way, but you... you don't have to go through it if you don't want to. That's fine with me."

Jonathan thought about what Chris said. He nodded a little and rested his hand on Chris's back. "Those people in school... they can deal."


	9. Chapter 9

Chris tapped his foot as he waited in line. After returning Ty to Kirsten's, he had traveled to the shop in town to pick up a few things. Penny had offered to drive- insisted, actually, but Chris refused. He found himself recently bestowed with a mass amount of energy that he needed to find some way to burn off, thus he chose to travel by foot. In fact, he was filled with so much energy that he ran from Kirsten's house to the store. Even then, he wasn't remotely close to being tired.

The line had only moved about an inch since he took his place. He was third, luckily, so it wasn't as terrible as it could have been. But he had still been standing there for a few minutes, and only one inch seemed a little ridiculous.

Someone walked up behind him, and naturally, he ignored whoever it was. The few items he held in his hands were starting to weigh him down, so he shifted his arms a little.

"...Chris?"

It was a man who called his name, the voice very deep and very familiar. Chris cautiously turned to meet the eyes of the man, realizing only halfway through his movement just who it was. He was about the same height as Chris, with the same curly hair but a shade darker, and matching blue eyes.

"Alex!" Chris smiled, absolutely astonished. It had been at the very least a year and a half since he last saw his brother. This particular brother, anyway; his other brother had not been around in a much longer span of time. "What are you doing here?"

"I just stopped here to stretch my legs a bit and get something to drink," Alex replied. "I've been driving all day. But I'm glad to finally be back. Did you walk here or something?"

"Ran, actually."

Alex laughed. "That doesn't surprise me. Do you want a ride back up to the house, then, or are you just gonna run again?"

It only then occurred to Chris that Alex had not been informed of anything that had happened within the past year. He was surprised, but he knew he shouldn't have been.

"Uh... no one... no one told you?" The perplexed expression Alex was now displaying confirmed his ignorance. "I don't live with mum and dad anymore."

"Oh." The explanation did very little to clear up Alex's confusion. He shifted his eyes around for a bit, thinking, then asked, "Where do you live, then?"

"With my friend and his mum," Chris said. He frowned and stared at the floor, his voice becoming lower and sadder. "You're visiting our parents?"

"Yeah. Well, I was under the impression that you'd be there, too." Alex uncomfortably scuffed the floor with his shoe and tried to decide whether or not asking for further information would be a good idea.

"Would you-" Chris abruptly stopped mid-sentence; Alex quickly looked up to see if something had happened, but he found that his brother was still staring at the floor. Cautiously, Chris spoke again. "Would you take me with you? … I haven't... seen them for a while."

A year, he thought to himself. It's already been a year.

"Uh, sure."

They were mostly silent until they had both paid and were headed out the door. Chris was wondering if any of this was actually a good idea, but he didn't really want to pass up the opportunity to find out. Alex pointed out where his car was and they began to walk towards it.

"So, why are you visiting?" Chris asked. "Just because?"

"For the most part. It's been quite a while, eh?" Alex chuckled a bit and Chris smiled in response. "I figured the 'rents could tolerate my presence for a little bit."

Alex opened the door to his car, Chris following along on the other side. It was an extraordinarily nice car, seemingly brand new. Chris figured that by now his brother must have become a successful whatever it was that he did, which was sure to please their parents. And maybe their happiness would be enough to forget, even just for a short period of time...

The ride seemed a lot longer than he remembered; maybe it was just his anticipation that was slowing down time. By the time the house came into view, he thought he felt his hands begin to shake, and his heart was beating a little faster.

Alex noticed Chris's ghostly expression, but chose to say nothing. He swiftly pulled into the driveway of the large estate, and within a minute or two they were standing in front of the door. Chris was apprehensive about going further, but Alex just pushed the door open and held it for Chris.

Chris took a step, probably the scariest step he'd ever taken. Everything looked the same inside the house, as he had expected; his parents had never been too keen on change.

"You'd think that people would make their houses more secure so random creeps wouldn't be able to just walk in off the street," Alex said with a purposeful loudness. He shortly laughed and winked at Chris, who was in no mood to laugh back.

Instead, Chris stood staring at the doorway where his mother's voice was coming from. "Honey, get up! Alex is here. Alex! It's so wonderful to see you again..."

Her voice trailed off as her eyes fixed with disgust on her youngest son, though she'd made it her life mission to forget she ever had three children. The smile that had appeared on her face faded as she stood frozen in the doorway, her husband soon to suffer the same fate.

"Alex, my boy!" He froze, too, but his expression changed much more quickly than his wife's had.

Then there was only a tense silence looming in the air. Alex found it difficult to watch the interaction between his family, though he had no idea what it was like to actually be a part of it. He did notice the hateful stares shot at his brother, and the way Chris's eyes started to water.

Once he could handle no more, Chris slowly turned to Alex, and in a shaky voice asked, "C-could you take me home?"

Alex felt like a complete outsider, with absolutely no idea what was going on, but he nodded his head in agreement. It was strange to hear Chris call any other place home; even though he had moved out years ago, Alex still thought of it as his home.

Chris left through the door first, and Alex turned to see his parents once more before leaving as well. They hadn't changed expressions, but they were both staring at the floor now rather than their estranged son. Alex muttered something about being back in a short while, then followed Chris.

Chris informed Alex roughly where his new home was, then leaned his head against the window and stared blankly. He really hadn't expected anything more or less from his parents, but it still hurt. The way his mother had looked at him, as if he wasn't anything more than a worthless clump of mass that was taking up space in her precious foyer. And to top it all off, he was unfortunately hit with memories of the last time he had seen his parents...

*

It was raining, the sky a dark and ominous color, but Chris couldn't have been happier. After a month of staying with Penny and Jonathan, he was finally going home. Penny had been kind enough to drive him, as she was headed off to work anyway and his house was along the way.

Now he stood at the door, backpack in hand, waiting for his parents to answer the door. He wasn't sure why, but he felt that it would have been weird for him to just walk right on in, so instead he knocked.

"Oh, Chris!" his mother exclaimed as she opened the door, pulling him inside and giving him a hug that nearly suffocated him. "It's great to have you back."

"It's great to be back," Chris happily breathed. He tried to soak in the happiness for as long as he could. "Where's dad?"

"He's around here somewhere." She finally released him, still as bubbly and bright as ever. "Why don't you go put that up in your room?" she asked, pointing to his bag.

There it was. Chris knew that it wouldn't be a good idea to even think about unpacking. He started to get a little anxious.

"I want to talk to you guys about something first." He tried to remember everything that Penny and Jonathan had said to him in encouragement. First, remain calm. He clasped his hands in midair to control any spasms. "Can we sit down in the other room?"

"Of course." She sounded a little apprehensive, but moments later they were sitting in the next room over. Chris's father was just finishing up something he'd been working on, then he entered and sat down beside his wife. Chris was sitting in a single chair opposite his parents. It felt almost like he was being interrogated, even though he was the one who asked for the meeting.

"What is, sweetheart?" Chris's mother asked when minutes of silence had passed. Chris thought for only a second longer, then looked up and smiled.

"What exactly is it that you want me to do? You know, with my life."

"Well," his father began, "first, finish school. Keep getting good grades. Then, get into a good college, become something like maybe a doctor, a lawyer. Marry a nice woman-" Chris inwardly cringed, "-raise a family of your own. Teach them just like we've taught you. I think that's a fairly simple overview."

"OK." Chris took a deep breath and told himself the next step: Don't be afraid. That one would be a little harder to accomplish. "I can't do that."

That such a simple statement could evoke such disappointment only made Chris fear worse for what he still had yet to say.

"What do you mean?" his mother asked.

"You're not failing your classes, are you?" his father asked with a slightly raised voice.

"No, I'm doing fine in school." Chris sighed again and tried to compose himself. He really wasn't doing well with not being afraid. "And..." he quietly added, "well, Kirsten's thinking about keeping the baby, so I guess I'm already starting a family."

"She's what??" his mother nearly shrieked. Chris shrugged as if to say that it wasn't exactly as if he had a choice (though he secretly was quite happy about Kirsten wanting to keep the baby), and she shook her head and calmed herself a bit. "Never mind."

Chris was deeply regretting the whole situation now, but he knew he couldn't back down. It wouldn't have been right.

And lastly, Penny's voice played in his head, if they don't like it, we're always here for you.

"I can't get married," he said. It wasn't exactly what he wanted to say, but it was a start. A start, and now he definitely couldn't go back. His palms were getting a little sweaty.

"Of course you can!" his father exclaimed as if Chris was just being silly. "Why wouldn't you be able to get married?"

"Well..." The room felt very hot now, and Chris looked out the window behind his parents to find some sort of distraction. It looked like the rain was clearing up a bit. And suddenly he thought of a way to take a detour. "Do you guys remember when I was little, maybe five or so, and you brought me over to the Helsby's for that play date? Remember that?"

"Sure."

"And you tried to get me to play with Marina... but I only wanted to play with Mason..." Chris paused, hoping his parents would catch on before he vomited in the middle of the room.

"I'm not sure I'm following, dear," Chris's mother frowned.

"I just feel like... it's sort of representative of my life..."

They still weren't understanding it. Chris silently screamed at them to just put two and two together so that he wouldn't have to say anything. Alas, it didn't work.

His father spoke again, sounding rather irritated. "Chris, please, plain English."

Chris cowardly looked down at the floor. His voice started off normally, but rapidly increased in pitch and speed as he said, "I can't do what you want me to, I can't get married because I don't want to get married to a woman. You're always setting me up with all these girls, but I don't like any of them because they're girls, and I don't like girls. I never have, but I tried to think that I did and it didn't work because I'm gay."

Chris was breathing heavily, waiting for his parents to react. He really couldn't take it back now.

He had expected his father to freak out the most, so he was very surprised to hear his mother's voice say, "Get out." That was after she laughed in disbelief. Chris almost wished she had continued with the laughter.

He slowly looked up, bottom lip trembling. "What?"

"Get out," she repeated, her cold manner giving her the appearance of stone. "You can take your things, all of your things, if you wish, but I want you to leave as quickly as possible and never come around here again."

Chris felt his heart break, the pain just bad as when Jonathan had dumped him nearly a month prior. Except this time there was no hope left in him; at least with Jonathan, he knew they would still be friends, and for now that was good enough for him. But his own mother, the woman who raised him for the entire sixteen years he had been occupying this planet, wanted nothing to do with him anymore. Just for trying to be himself.

Chris's father hadn't said anything by the time Chris left the room the pack as much as he could and call Penny at work to have her come pick him up again. Her tone was so sad when he asked her, but she agreed without a second thought. Chris felt extremely grateful to have someone who actually cared about him.

As he stepped outside and stood on the porch of his house for what he assumed would be the last time, he noticed that the rain had let up completely; in fact, the sun was shining. And he noticed as he looked up at the sky that there was a rainbow forming. He thought maybe the weather was trying to mock him.

When he watched the house fade into the distance as Penny drove down the road, it felt like a part of him died. He knew that his parents weren't the greatest, that they were obviously controlling and narrow-minded people, but they were still his parents, and he still wanted their approval more than anything else.

*

Chris didn't watch the house disappear this time. He couldn't bring himself to do that. The memories had already started playing by that time, anyway, so he was too wrapped up to care.

A few tears splashed down onto the door of the car as he was brought back to reality. They were nearly at the house now, so Chris further instructed Alex where to stop.

"So... what exactly happened?" Alex inquired as he stopped in the driveway and shut off the car. "Why are you living here?"

"I..." Chris tried to word it without giving too much away just yet. "I disappointed our parents, I guess. They kicked me out. Twice."

"No way! Seriously?" Alex laughed, but stopped when he realized it was probably inappropriate. "It's just I never imagined they would actually do that to any of us. Of course, I didn't imagine any of us would do anything to make them, either."

"I didn't think they would kick me out... I just thought maybe they'd be upset for a while, but they'd get over it. Obviously, I was wrong."

"Why'd they kick you out?"

Chris sighed and looked up at Alex. "Because I like boys and not girls," he plainly said. "They were not happy about that."

"You...?" Alex appeared to be at a loss for words, so Chris nodded. "Wow... wow. Uh... well, I mean, it's certainly not what I would have expected..."

"Yeah." Chris lowered his head again and frowned at his lap. But moments later he felt his brother's hand on his back.

"Hey, Chris, it's cool with me," Alex assured him. "Just a little shocked, that's all."

"Really? You're OK with it?"

"Yeah, of course." Alex ruffled what little hair Chris still had. "You're my baby brother, I'll always love you. Nothing could change that."

"Eh, I'm their son, too, but that didn't seem to matter much." Chris shook his head and exhaled with a bit of force. "David wouldn't like it."

"Yeah, well, David's a prick," Alex bitterly replied. "Mum and dad have him molded into the perfect human being. Because it's terrible if you maybe want to do something you actually enjoy rather than sit in a stuffy room all day wearing a suit and rattling off a bunch of law jargon you're not even sure makes sense."

Chris turned his head towards Alex and actually smiled. It felt nice to finally connect with someone- someone he was closely related to. He didn't think that had ever really happened before.

"I want to be a writer," he happily said.

"I dropped out of law school my second year," Alex replied. "I just got tired of it. But I'm making good money now, doing graphic design. Advertisements, that sort of thing. Do you think I should tell mum and dad?"

"Well, I don't know," Chris began. "On the one hand, they won't be happy, but on the other hand, it's not like they can really do anything to you. How did you manage to drop out without them noticing?"

Alex nonchalantly shrugged. "It was pretty damn easy. I mean, they paid for it, but they seemed to think it was a good idea to trust me with the money, so it's not like they ever got a bill or anything. I think I will tell them. I was a bit afraid before, but... man, what you did, that took guts. I'm proud of you, kid."

Chris froze for a moment, replaying Alex's words in his mind until he finally decided they were real. Then he beamed and his eyes lit up as he excitedly said, "Come inside with me, I want you to meet Penny and Jay!"


	10. Chapter 10

Penny looked up at her son as they both heard the noise of the front door opening. Then there were a few footsteps, and some muffled murmurs, then silence.

"It's about time," Jonathan said.

Penny rolled her eyes. "Oh, please. Is that because you want to spend every waking moment with him?" she asked, mockingly.

Jonathan's cheeks flushed deep red, and he opened his mouth to retort before he was cut off by a cheery Chris.

"Hey, guys!" Chris stood off to the side of the doorway, almost as if he was hiding something. Jonathan jumped at the chance to ignore his mother, and so he quickly spun around to see Chris.

"Where were you?" he asked, his urgent tone a little frightening.

"Jonathan, stop it," Penny commanded. She peacefully turned her eyes to Chris. "Chris?"

"Oh, sorry I took so long. Uh, I ran into someone... someone I want you guys to meet." Chris moved over and waved at the area past the doorway. "This is my brother, Alex," he said as Alex stepped into view, drawing looks of shock from Penny and Jonathan. "Alex, Penny and Jay- uh, Jonathan."

"Nice to meet you," Alex kindly said to the room. Jonathan absentmindedly grunted in return, and Penny walked over to him.

"It's nice to meet you," she hesitantly repeated, the look on her face making it obvious that she was judging him.

"Thank you for taking Chris in." Alex awkwardly scanned the room for a bit. "It's a little weird to think that someone else is taking care of him now." Alex's eyes stopped on Penny, and he smiled at her. "But I'm sure you're doing a much better job."

Penny seemed to approve of his statement, so she smiled back and asked, "Would you care to join us for dinner? It's not much, but you're welcome to, if you like."

"Actually, I should probably get going soon. I'm supposed to be dining with my parents." His smile faded as he looked over at Chris. "It wouldn't hurt to stay for a bit longer, though. I suspect they're not in the best mood right now."

"Why is that?" Penny inquired.

Alex's eyes widened a little and he fumbled to make a decision. Chris was much quicker than he was. "I went to see them."

For the first time since his entrance, everyone's focus shifted off of Alex. Jonathan stood up from his chair; Penny slowly and apprehensively turned herself to face Chris.

"You did?" Penny replied, and Chris nodded. "And...?"

"And I saw them," he shrugged. "They saw me. Then we left and came back here."

"They didn't say anything?"

"No."

"Did you say anything to them?" Penny asked.

"No, and it wouldn't have mattered anyway." Chris looked down at his feet. His voice had become low and cracked, and as he traced the paths of his shoelaces with his eyes he desperately wished he could stop being so sad all the time. He just wanted to be happy, why was the world so against that?

Suddenly the physical air around him changed as he felt the presence of two arms being wrapped around him. He didn't need to look up to know who it was; those arms had been around him enough times before that he just knew.

"Uh... come on, then," Penny said to Alex. "If you won't have anything to eat, at least stay for a few minutes. I think it would mean a lot to Chris."

"Yeah," Alex agreed as he stared at his brother, making note of just how supportive these people were of Chris. It made him feel a little better.

Neither Chris nor Jonathan noticed when Penny and Alex walked into the kitchen, they just remained in the hallway, tightly embracing. Alex sat down beside Penny, thinking that if he sat next to her then it wouldn't be so awkward talking to her. For some reason he felt that sitting opposite her would put him under the spotlight even more so than he already was.

"Are you boys joining us or what?" Penny called out into the hallway.

"I love you," Jonathan whispered and placed a soft kiss on Chris's ear before they broke apart and entered the other room.

"Oh, wait," Chris suddenly said just before he sat down. He momentarily disappeared through the doorway, then reappeared seconds later with a white plastic bag, which he handed to Penny.

"Oh, thank you," Penny cheerfully replied, grabbing the bag from Chris and bringing it over to the counter. Chris sat down and clasped his hands on the table, waiting for conversation to break out.

"So, Alex," Chris began after realizing no one else was going to speak. Penny had taken her seat once again, but had felt, like Jonathan, that it was not really her place to say anything. "How's your... love life? Or whatever, just say something."

Alex laughed a little. "It's, uh... well, I'm not engaged anymore. My fiance left me. Oh, and I was engaged before," he added. Oddly he didn't seem too upset. "But what about you, eh?" Alex suggestively raised an eyebrow.

"Well..." Chris cautiously turned his head towards Jonathan and smiled.

"I kinda figured." Alex narrowed his eyes and tilted his head to the side. "You guys do look cute together, though. As long as you're happy."

"Oh, that means a lot to me," Chris sincerely said. He wanted to say, but couldn't find the words, that Alex's approval was nearly the most important thing in the world, certainly very high on the list. He was largely convinced that there would never be another person in his family who accepted him. Luckily, the bond between the two brothers was strong enough that Alex understood all of that without being told.

Their conversation lasted for another ten minutes before Alex announced that he must be on his way. Penny and Jonathan bid him farewell from the kitchen, but Chris took the liberty of walking Alex back out to his car.

"I'll talk to mum and dad for you," Alex told him as he stood behind the open car door.

"I don't think I'll make any difference," Chris said, "but thank you."

Alex looked at him for a second longer, then reached into his car and pulled out some sort of card. He handed it to Chris and said, "Call me sometime, yeah?"

Chris looked at the card; it was a business card for what he assumed what Alex's graphic design company. When he brought his eyes back up, Alex was already fully in his car. He waved, then stood for a while and watched as Alex pulled out of the driveway and took off down the road.

As he walked back inside, he had the strange feeling like he had just lived through an entire week's worth of events in one hour. The wafting smell of dinner stroked his nostrils, and momentarily his thoughts subsided as he realized that he was rather famished.

He almost shoveled down his food, receiving an odd glare from Penny. "Geez, Chris, you'd think you hadn't eaten in days," she said.

Chris slowly chewed that which he currently had in his mouth, then swallowed and pointlessly replied, "Oh."

Jonathan wasn't paying attention to either of them; he was too busy absentmindedly swirling his fork around his plate. The patterns left behind by the trailing prongs were pretty, but he didn't care. He was rather worried about going to school the next day.

Would anyone say anything about he and Chris? Of course they would, though maybe not to their faces. Jonathan wasn't sure which would be harder to handle, furtive gossip or upfront degradation. He knew Chris dealt with both all the time, but at the moment he was more worried about himself, which he realized was really selfish. But it wasn't entirely his fault; he'd never been in this sort of situation before, and he was quite afraid of finding out what his reaction would be to the opinions of everyone else.

"Jonathan," Penny said very loudly, and as he snapped out of it, Jonathan guessed that she had been trying to catch his focus for a while. "Are you all right?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," Jonathan coolly said.

Penny stared at him, disbelieving. "Well, will you help me clean up, please?"

"Sure." It took Jonathan a few seconds to realize that Chris was already gone from the table and seemingly the kitchen in general. "Where's Chris?" he asked.

"Are you sure you're OK?" Penny stood in front of Jonathan and carefully examined his facial features.

"Yeah..."

"Chris went up to his room. Said he was exhausted. Jonathan," Penny firmly placed her hand on Jonathan's cheek, "what's going on?"

"Mum, I-"

"You can tell me all you like that you're fine," she interrupted. "I'm smart enough to know that you're lying."

"I am fine," Jonathan stubbornly replied, prying his mother's hand from his face. "I was just thinking about school tomorrow is all."

Jonathan was hoping that would satisfy her, but Penny just looked at him sympathetically. "You're worried about the other kids bullying you?" she asked, though it was actually more of a statement than a question. "Listen, Jonathan, you're happy with Chris, right?"

Jonathan nodded decisively. "And I know that's all that should matter," he said, guessing the advice his mother was about to give him, "but..."

"It's still tough to deal with all that other stuff," Penny finished. "Think of it this way, any time anyone says something to you, it's just them vocalizing their own insecurities. You've found something that makes you happy, and you're willing to accept that it may not be what everyone else considers normal. A lot of people only wish they could do that."

"Thank you," Jonathan quietly replied, feeling that he had nothing else to say.

Penny smiled at him then went about clearing the table. Jonathan helped here and there, though there wasn't much for him to do with only two plates that had been left behind. Penny brought the plates to the sink, and Jonathan decided to wipe down the table's surface until he felt it was clean enough.

Once the task was completed, Jonathan went upstairs with the intention of resting in his room. But just before his hand reached the knob of his door, he had the sudden urge to see what Chris was up to.

Chris didn't seem to be up to much of anything. He was sitting cross-legged in the middle of his bed, cradling in his hands what looked like a rock of some sort. He was just staring intently at it, though not so intently that he didn't notice Jonathan standing at his doorway.

"Hey, Jay," he said without shifting his eyes at all.

"Hey..." Jonathan took a few steps into Chris's room and closer to the bed, but he kept his distance. "Uh, I was just.... just wondering what you were doing. If maybe you wanted any company, or..."

Chris smiled at Jonathan and gently patted the empty space beside him. Jonathan awkwardly sat down, then turned his head and found that Chris's bright blue eyes were trying to pierce through him.

"Your company is always welcome, love," Chris said brightly. He flipped the rock around in his hands, all the while still staring at Jonathan. Jonathan watched Chris's hands.

"Why do you have a rock?" Jonathan asked, a little judgmentally.

"Um... sentimental reasons." Chris blinked a few times, then chuckled and looked down at his hands. "I nicked it from the school the first day I talked to you. It was one of the ones you were standing on."

"Oh. That's... normal. And not creepy at all."

Chris opened his mouth to speak before he had actually prepared any words to use. He took a deep breath and utilized the time to think. "It was an important day for me."

"Well, I guess it was important for me, too," Jonathan said.

Chris set down the rock, then stared at Jonathan for a few moments. "Can I ask something of you, Jonathan?"

"What?" Jonathan asked. "And should I be afraid?"

Chris laughed. "I don't think you should be afraid." He reached out and at first grabbed a random part of Jonathan's arm, but ultimately held on to only Jonathan's hand, clasping it firmly between his own hands. "Will you tell me about, um, when you got that note from me? And stuff like that. I'd like to hear how you felt about it," he bashfully added, bowing his head a little.

"Yeah, OK," Jonathan replied after a moment of silence. Chris smiled and moved a bit closer to Jonathan. "Well, I was coming back from... whatever class I was coming back from, and I stopped at my locker. When I opened it the note was on the door- wait," Jonathan interrupted himself and furrowed his brows, "how did you get the note inside my locker? It was, you know, locked."

"Oh." Chris thought for a few seconds, then said, "It's not something I'm exactly proud of, but back then people would do anything I asked them to. So I got some kid to break into your locker for me." Chris scrunched up his nose and made a pained expression. "Sorry."

"I wouldn't be sorry, I think that's what got us to where we are now." Chris raised his eyebrows as if to say that Jonathan had made a good point. "Anyway, um... yeah. I saw the note, and at first I was like, what the hell? I didn't exactly know who you were, even though I'd heard your name and probably seen you around before, but still, I was really confused. I actually almost forgot to meet you, but luckily I remembered when I was walking out of the school."

Chris laughed, which was a relief; Jonathan had thought for a second that Chris might have been a tad angered by that. "Well, then it's a very good thing you remembered."

"It is, indeed. And then I found you, and I still had no freaking clue what was going on. Then you asked me... you asked me if I was seeing anyone. That caught me off guard, definitely." Jonathan paused briefly, staring right into Chris's eyes. "I couldn't say no to you. Even if I had wanted to, which for some strange reason I didn't. There was just something about you, I guess."

"Is that why you love me now?" Chris innocently asked. "Just... something?"

Jonathan smiled and closed his hand around Chris's. "I love you now because you're a fantastic person. You're very sweet, and funny, and... you're still the only boy I would ever call gorgeous."

Chris grinned back at Jonathan, but the look in his eyes told Jonathan that he was about to hear something far more emotional than his own tale had been. Jonathan braced himself, knowing full well just how affected Chris could be at times.

"One day I was walking through the cafeteria, and I saw you," Chris said. "Then I just got this feeling that you were different from everyone else... maybe like I was different... I couldn't stop thinking about you after that. For, like, a week I was trying to think of some way to talk to you. And I realized that I liked you. You were the first boy I ever actually liked."

"I was?"

"Yeah. It was scary to think that, because I was still really confused, and up until then I had, you know, just looked at boys every now and then. It never really dawned on me... like, I knew I wasn't exactly 'normal' as I think most people would put it, but I was unsure of how, you know what I mean?" Chris paused, and Jonathan nodded slightly. "When I saw you, I was sure. Of course, I tried to convince myself that it was just you."

"I couldn't imagine going through all that," Jonathan quietly said.

Chris frowned and looked down at their joined hands. "That's why I was so unfaithful to you, Jay. I really hate myself for acting like that."

"You shouldn't," Jonathan told him. "It's understandable. And I might have done the same if I were you."

"No," Chris replied, shaking his head, "you're a much better person than I am. Than I used to be."

As Jonathan looked at Chris, he remembered his recent fears. "Chris, I need your help."

"Sure," Chris said, not even bothering to question his request. But Jonathan felt compelled to explain.

"I need you to teach me to be strong like you. I want people to know about us, but I can't say that I'll be able to handle the... criticism." Jonathan sighed uneasily. "I'm sure it's not easy, but you seem to do a good job of not letting people get to you."

Chris smiled kindly and shrugged. "They're just insecure, right?" As Chris said it, Penny's voice echoed in Jonathan's mind. "Whatever they say, they're just talking about themselves."

"Is it really that simple?"

"Nothing's ever that simple, Jay," Chris said with a contradicting grin stretched across his face. "But if you tell yourself that often enough, eventually you start to believe it, even if only a tiny bit at first. Then the rest gets easier to deal with."


	11. Chapter 11

The large wheels stopped mere feet away from Chris and Jonathan as the big yellow bus screeched to a halt. The sound of compressed air whooshed as the doors opened.

"This is our big day, Jay," Chris beamed as the two boys sat down in a seat towards the back of the bus. Most of the other seats had already been taken by the students whose bus-stops preceded theirs; a few kids had snickered as they watched Chris pass by. "Isn't it?"

"Yeah, it is." Jonathan tried to smile back, but it didn't work out so well. His eyes scanned the parts of the bus ahead of them, anticipating heads turning and glaring at them in any second.

Chris leaned over and gave Jonathan a kiss on the cheek. "Don't be nervous, love."

"Right, easier said than done," Jonathan replied. Chris slipped his hand under Jonathan's, interlacing their fingers and giving a reassuring squeeze.

The bus stopped again not far down the road. As Devon walked up and took the seat next to them, Chris pulled his arm back so that his and Jonathan's hands, though still joined, were hidden from sight. Jonathan momentarily looked down at the spot on his lap that now felt cool without the presence of body heat radiating towards it, then raised his eyes questioningly to Chris.

"Hey, Jon," Devon casually said. Jonathan snapped his head around frowned.

"Hey, Devon," he said. He quickly glanced back at Chris, who was wearing a look of near terror. For a second Jonathan wondered how he could be brave when even Chris truly wasn't, but that thought went as quickly as it came and he found himself revealing more to Devon than Devon would have liked to hear. "Chris and I are back together."

"Jon, it's not April yet, cool it with the jokes." Devon didn't even bother to look up from the books in his hands, until he realized that Jonathan wasn't going to reply. He slowly lifted his head and saw the seriousness on Jonathan's face. "You...what?"

Jonathan felt Chris flinch beside him. He took Chris's hand and brought it back into view. "We're back together."

Devon stared at them bug-eyed; his face was tinted with the threat of vomiting. His mouth faltered, desperately grasping in the air for words to use, but finding nothing except empty space.

"Do you think he's gonna flip out?" Chris quietly mumbled into Jonathan's ear.

Without looking away from Devon, Jonathan affirmed. "If he doesn't, then something's definitely wrong."

Perhaps it was not as much of a dramatic scene as either of the boys had prepared for. When Devon seemed to finally comprehend just what was going on, he shot a few looks of certain dislike their way then turned his focus to the window and the outside world that was passing by.

"I guess that's close enough," Jonathan quietly said as he set his eyes upon Chris. And just then, something made him smile; maybe it was the way the sunlight dripped into the bus and soaked Chris in a golden hue. Chris's bright blue eyes were lit with fear, but as they met Jonathan's he relaxed a little and smiled back.

"It'll be OK," Chris said, probably to himself more than Jonathan. "I think that might have been the scariest part."

"Yeah," Jonathan replied, and suddenly their positions were switched again. Chris was his normal happy-go-lucky self, and Jonathan almost tried to sink into the bus seat and disappear forever.

Although no one noticed them even after they walked off the bus and into the school, Jonathan's paranoia was still at a maximum height. He kept glancing around the halls, the feeling that a thousand eyes were all on them at any given time crushing him like a bug. Chris noticed this, but he was smart enough to see that there was no real way to convince Jonathan otherwise except to just let him live and find out for himself.

They drew closer and closer to Chris's locker, and Jonathan started to panic even more. Sure, he could stand there with Chris and wait for him to get his books, but they would have to part at some time. Then what? Would Chris try to kiss him goodbye? Not that he didn't want that. He actually really wanted to kiss Chris- really wanted to, but those thousand eyes made him hesitate at the mere thought.

A few feet from the locker, a teacher stood outside of his door, observing the students going about their daily morning routines. As he saw Jonathan and Chris pass by, he quickly called out, "Hey, Jonathan! May I speak with you for a minute?"

Jonathan breathed a sigh of relief. "Yeah, sure." He quickly looked back at Chris, who smiled knowingly.

"See you later."

Their hands broke apart and Jonathan disappeared into the distance as Chris walked on.

Some kids were loitering by Chris's locker, but he was used to that. More often than not they would harass him, but today seemed to be going extra well for him. All they did was just stare for a moment then move over so they were as far away from him as possible without actually leaving the area. One of the kids must have had a locker right there.

As his locker door swung open, so appeared a face covered in piercings and hidden away by a mass of dark brown hair. "Hey, Chris."

Chris cautiously looked up, as he thought he had heard a hint of aggression in the voice. But he was relieved to see that it was just Damien, who seemed to be donning a new hoop in his eyebrow.

"Hey, Damien," Chris said. "Nice, uh..." Chris gestured around his own eyebrow, "eyebrow ring... thing..."

"Thanks," Damien coolly replied.

"Yeah. Uh, anyway, how was your weekend?"

Damien shrugged. "It was all right. Got to stay home and sleep in for two days. How was yours?"

"It was... the best weekend of my life," Chris beamed.

"Oh, yeah? How so?"

"Uh... I don't know that I should say-"

"Ohhhh, who is he?" Damien immediately interrupted. Chris's jaw dropped in slightly fake surprise.

"Damien!"

"Did you sleep with him?" Damien's invasive and ridiculous questions were started to make Chris fluster a little.

"No, I didn't sleep with him, we live in the same house and his mother..." Chris trailed off before he said any more, though he knew that he'd already said too much.

"So it's Jonathan?" Damien asked, and Chris nodded. "Well, congratulations. You've liked him for a while, haven't you?"

"I think I always liked him," Chris shrugged.

"And he's straight, right? That's even more impressive."

"I guess it is..."

Silence merged its way between the two and stayed until the bell rang. Then they both left separate ways without speaking another word, but it was a sort of ritual for them. Along with this came the long route around the room that Chris took to avoid the other kids in his homeroom.

It was all normal, a normal day in school, doing normal scholarly things. Chris swerved in the halls on his way to his classes to avoid those trying to get to him, he tried to pay attention to whatever the hell the teacher was talking about and not get wrapped up in thinking about Jonathan, and he lost his pen somewhere between Math and English. Typical stuff, really.

Soon, though it felt like far too long for his teenage heart, he met up with Jonathan once again as they walked to the boys' locker room.

"How was your day so far?" Chris chirped.

"Well, I talked to Devon again. He said that he would tell me how he felt about this if he hadn't promised his mum not to use unnecessary language from now on."

Chris rolled his eyes and found that he had nothing to say in return. At least, everything that he could say he felt was too obvious to say, and so he kept his mouth shut. But as the two boys walked through the door into the locker room, Chris decided to take Jonathan's hand and lead them past the usuals.

"Oh, look, it's spreading," came the voice of Thomas. Jonathan merely shot him a nasty look, but oddly enough Chris was not satisfied by that. He stopped, nearly causing Jonathan to bump into him, and turned sharply.

For nearly half a minute he just glared with a look of death in his eyes, then finally spoke through clenched teeth. "If it is spreading, then you should watch out. You know who else has got it? Your little friend Nolan."

Nearly everyone's jaws dropped and they all looked to Nolan, whose face was beet red and his eyes wide with horror. Chris stormed off, though immediately he calmed down and began to regret his behavior. Jonathan thought it was spectacular.

"Chris, that was... that was awesome!"

"I shouldn't have done that," Chris said, shaking his head and striding on with determination.

"Shouldn't have done what?" Jonathan replied, his tone itching with annoyance. "Defended yourself?"

Chris stopped abruptly and spun around. "I shouldn't have told them that. He didn't want anyone to know... It wasn't my place to say it."

He frowned at the floor and his ears ached as the sounds of the other boys commenting on their newfound knowledge began to fill the room and echo off the walls. Jonathan watched him sympathetically, then decided he needed to change as quickly as possible.

Chris soon did the same, and it seemed like all he did was blink before the class was over and they were back in there, changing this time from the gym clothes into their normal clothes.

Before they left the locker room, Chris stopped by the door. Nolan was sitting where he usually stood, staring into space with a look of despair. Chris quickly glanced back at Jonathan, who nodded in understanding.

"Nolan, I'm sorry." Chris sat down next to the poor blond-haired boy. "I know I should have kept that to myself, but it just kinda slipped... Your friends are such jerks. If they really are your friends, even."

"I guess they're not anymore," Nolan replied, his voice dry as dust.

"I'm really sorry."

Nolan closed his eyes and took a deep breath. When he opened them again, he looked at Chris and said, "I kinda wanted to tell people anyway. I guess now I don't really have to."

"Yeah, see, there's always a bright side," Chris said, and he awkwardly laughed a little.

News spread like wildfire; within the few minutes that it took Chris and Jonathan to travel from the locker room to Chris's locker to the cafeteria, it seemed as though everyone had been informed of not only Nolan's sexuality, but of Chris and Jonathan's relationship.

Even though they were no longer holding hands- in fact, Jonathan was a few paces ahead of Chris, rushing to escape the spotlight- it seemed as if everyone just knew. They automatically knew, and they felt the need to either stare or point or mutter under their breath.

"Jay," Chris said as they stopped at their table, "walking fast isn't going to make them disappear."

"I know," Jonathan replied. He dropped his bag in his chair and took Chris's arm. Chris barely had time to set his own stuff down before Jonathan dragged him across the cafeteria to where the lunch lines were.

"At least they're only talking. It could be a lot worse."

Jonathan stared at the floor, then lifted his eyes to Chris. "It just takes time, right?"

Chris smiled and nodded. "Right. And," he leaned in close to Jonathan and whispered in his ear, "I won't let anyone hurt you. You have nothing to worry about." He brought his hand up and quickly brushed his thumb over Jonathan's cheek.

The line moved forward a bit, and so Chris and Jonathan stepped along with it. A few of the people in front of them were talking about Nolan- at least, Chris had thought he heard them talking about Nolan. Then he felt bad, but he knew, like with many other things he had done in his life, that there was no taking it back. But maybe it would turn out for the best.

Not more than five minutes later, Jonathan cautiously put his tray on the table. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Chris walk around him and to his own seat. Jonathan made a split-second decision, and moved before Chris even had a chance to sit down.

The next few moments became tangled up in Chris's mind; one minute he was setting his tray down, then the next his head was being pulled up by Jonathan's hands, and then Jonathan kissed him. Right there, in the middle of the cafeteria, with all those people around them, Jonathan kissed him. Chris was so stunned that for a few seconds he forgot to react; once he remembered, he laid his hands on Jonathan's sides and kissed him back.

The room quieted around them, but neither really noticed. Soon people regained their consciousness and voices and began booing. Some even called out awful and degrading names.

Despite all that, as the two boys pulled apart and Chris rested his forehead against Jonathan's, they both smiled. Nothing felt better than showing the world their love, even if it meant negative consequences.

"I love you so much, Jay," Chris quietly said.

"I love you, too. Do you think maybe we should get out of here?"

Chris quickly leaned forward and their lips briefly met again. "Yeah. Let's leave before people start to riot."

They shared a small laugh and hurriedly gathered their things. On the way out of the cafeteria they faced several obstacles, the least of which being a rather large kid blocking the door, though not purposely; he had been speaking with his friend the whole time, so he missed the display entirely.

"Excuse me, 'scuse me," Chris said in a rushed tone, and it took a few tries before the kid heard him. He moved, and shot Chris a look as though he felt Chris was being rather rude, interrupting his conversation like that.

Jonathan had never actually thought of where they would go when they left the cafeteria, but Chris seemed to have it covered. They walked through the halls, silent except for the muffled voices contained within the classrooms around them. One door was open, and it was into this room that Chris led Jonathan.

"Mr. Phillips?"

The teacher sitting at his desk looked up at the two boys. He smiled kindly and replied, "Yes, Chris?"

"Would it be all right for Jonathan and I to stay and eat lunch in here?"

"Sure." Chris nodded for Jonathan to follow him into the room, and they both took seats relatively close to Mr. Phillips's desk. "May I ask why, though?"

"We're trying to... avoid opposition from the public," Chris lamely explained.

Mr. Phillips lowered his eyelids a little. "How so?"

"People can be nasty, especially if they see the gay kid kiss his boyfriend. That doesn't please them, really."

Mr. Phillips breathed, looking as if he was trying to stifle a detailed response. "Right. Well, I would have to agree with you there." He looked down at the papers on his desk, and drummed his hands on the surface. "Oh, by the way, I read your novel, Chris, and I must say I was impressed. Have you considered trying to get published?"

"Really, published??" Chris replied with wide eyes. "You think it's that good?"

"Yes," Mr. Phillips said. "Now, granted, it's a difficult and taxing process, and you probably won't succeed at first, but what you've got is a great story. The overall plot is wonderful. It seems like you've got quite a few subplots going on, but everything wraps up nicely in the end. The character development is superb, and frankly it seems as though the span of your vocabulary is wide enough to fill an entire dictionary itself."

Chris blushed and ducked his head. Jonathan thought he looked kinda cute like that. "Well, thank you," he quietly said.

"Which one is it?" Jonathan asked Chris. Chris slowly looked up, his eyes bulging ever so slightly.

"It's, uh... one you haven't read." Chris pressed his lips together so there was barely any space between them and mumbled, "Because it's about you."

"Because what?"

"I wrote it about you," Chris said a little louder. "Well, I didn't mean to write it about you, and I didn't even realize that I did at first. But then I went over it again and... I wrote it about you."

Jonathan thought for a few moments, Chris watching him and hoping his reaction wouldn't be bad. "Can I read it?" he asked, to both Chris's relief and dismay.

"I guess. Honestly, I think it might be the best one I've written so far."

"When did you write it?"

In Chris's eyes flashed a quick sadness, an almost bittersweet expression. "The first time we were together. It's not so obvious that it's about you. It's just... well, you at least influenced it heavily."

"If you'd like, you can have my copy and start reading now," Mr. Phillips interjected. "Though you might find it hard to put down."

Jonathan walked up to Mr. Phillips's desk and took the stack of papers from him. "Thanks."

As Jonathan sat back down at his seat, he glanced at the cover. Typed neatly in the center of the page, black ink in size 12 font were the words Stares From Green Eyes.

Somehow Jonathan felt that maybe it hadn't been titled that originally. That or Chris had really been in denial about Jonathan's impact on the story.


	12. Chapter 12

It took Jonathan two weeks to read Chris's story. It truly was as amazing as Mr. Phillips had said, and possibly even better. But perhaps Jonathan was just a little biased.

Chris was too embarrassed to ask what Jonathan's opinion was, mostly because he was a bit afraid that it would be negative. It was quite the opposite though; Jonathan almost loved Chris just a little bit more for that story. Even if it hadn't been about him, he thought that he would have felt the same.

Certainly, it seemed as though everyday he was thinking about Chris more often, which was a feat in and of itself, because he thought of Chris a lot. Almost every waking minute, even.

Something came over him one day. He wasn't exactly sure what or why, and it was this feeling like he had never experienced before, but it was so overpowering. When they came home from school he quickly threw his bag on his floor then left to see Chris.

Chris was sitting on his bed, reading. He looked so innocent, and it made the desire burn hotter through Jonathan's veins. After standing quietly for a few minutes, Jonathan slightly leaned back and pressed the sole of his foot against the door.

The sound of the door clicking shut made Chris look up.

"Jay, we're not supposed to have the door closed." Jonathan paid his words no attention, and just walked away from the door and towards Chris's bed. "Jay," he said, more pressingly, "your mum-"

"My mum's not home," Jonathan replied in a husky voice. "She won't be home for hours."

Chris set down the book he had been reading and stared into Jonathan's eyes as Jonathan climbed onto his bed and over his body. His breathing became labored as Jonathan came closer and closer, until finally their bodies were pressed together.

Chris sunk his fingers into Jonathan's hair as their lips met, and Jonathan experienced the oh so familiar feel of Chris's tongue massaging his own. Within ten seconds Jonathan's hands slid up from the surface of Chris's sheets to the tiny bits of skin peeking out from under Chris's shirt.

"What if your mum comes home early?" Chris breathily asked.

"Then we'll make this quick," Jonathan answered throatily, slipping his fingers under the hem of Chris's shirt and using the backs of his wrists to move the fabric as his hands ran up Chris's bare skin. When he felt the bumps of Chris's ribs he noticed Chris shiver a little.

Chris gently pulled his hands from Jonathan's hair, lifting his arms up slowly to allow Jonathan to more easily remove his shirt. Once the bothersome clothing had been tossed carelessly to the floor, Jonathan's mouth resumed its place combining forces with Chris's.

Chris never seemed like a very strong boy. He was athletic, sure, but more with cardiovascular than anything else. His lanky frame would lead anyone to believe that he was a rather fragile person, even someone who he was intimate with.

Or maybe they hadn't been intimate enough, because Jonathan certainly found out that Chris was about twenty times stronger than he looked, and was able to push Jonathan over to the other side of the bed without any warning whatsoever.

And Jonathan kinda liked the dominating side of Chris- perhaps one of the reasons he stayed with Chris for so long the first time- so he didn't mind letting Chris take control.

"Actually, I think," Chris began, resting his hand on Jonathan's stomach and making small circles with his thumb, "it wouldn't be so bad if we took it... slow."

Jonathan's face grew hot at Chris's touch; even through the material his movements were far too much. Jonathan closed his eyes and by some miracle Chris was able, in that small amount of time, to completely remove Jonathan's shirt. Then Chris was keeping true to his word, focusing his kisses on Jonathan's neck first, only moving downwards ever so slowly. Jonathan almost felt bad about just laying there and leaving Chris to do all the work, but he forgot to because he was too busy thinking about where Chris would go next.

What seemed to Jonathan like hours later, Chris looked up at him and in a quiet voice asked, "Jay, are you sure you want to do this?"

"I'm sure," Jonathan replied without taking his eyes off the ceiling. But seconds later Chris's face was blocking his view.

"One hundred percent sure?" There was a look in his eyes that nearly resembled worry.

"Yeah."

Chris brought his hand up and laid it against Jonathan's cheek. "It's just... this means a lot to me, I want to know that you won't... regret it."

"I won't. I never would," Jonathan softly said, and Chris believed him.

He saw Chris smile, but only for a fraction of a second before Chris disappeared again. Then he felt Chris's presence drawing dangerously close to the lower half of his torso. Chris's soft, wet lips were placed down in small intervals along his abdomen, and then there was a slight pressure as Chris reached out and undid the button of Jonathan's jeans.

He could barely remember anything after that, except for the one thing he was certain of:

It felt so good.

Jonathan's leg twitched and his eyes fluttered open. He heard an odd whooshing sound, and as his consciousness returned he realized it was his heavy breathing. He flipped over and instantly recognized the room as his own.

He looked to the window; the sun was just beginning to rise. He sighed as his breath slowly returned to normal, then shifted his eyes to stare at the ceiling.

Beads of sweat were actually forming and dripping down the back of his neck. As if the room hadn't felt warm enough, his could feel his cheeks turn red as he suddenly recalled his dream. His eyes widened a bit and he covered his face with his hands in a vain attempt to erase his memory.

Guilt was the only emotion coursing through him as he watched Chris eating breakfast. Guilt, and a little curiosity. When Chris opened his mouth just a bit to take in the cereal from his spoon, the flash of his tongue sent Jonathan's thoughts spiraling out of control.

He was in a daze for a few minutes, until Chris noticed and waved his hand in front of Jonathan's eyes. Jonathan started, blinked a few times, then just looked blankly at Chris.

"Jay, are you all right?"

Chris's big blue eyes did nothing to help, and really only made matters worse. Jonathan looked down at his hands and tried to think of something else.

"Uh huh, I'm fine," he quickly and unconvincingly evaded.

He wasn't sure why he felt guilty; after all, it wasn't as if Chris was just some friend of his that he suddenly had weird feelings for. Chris was his boyfriend, it wasn't exactly unusual to have those sort of thoughts.

Maybe it was just because Chris had absolutely no clue about it. In that case, Jonathan thought it might help to tell him. Only, he quickly realized that it would be rather awkward to talk about.

"Chris... I need to ask you something."

"Sure, what?"

The words froze as they journeyed to Jonathan's lips. How the hell was he going to phrase this? He didn't want to seem creepy, after all. "Have you, uh... well, have you ever had, like, a dream about me?"

Chris stared at him for a few seconds, then his eyes were lit with realization. "Why, Jonathan!" Then he smiled slyly, seductively lowering his voice and winking as he said, "Sure, I've had dreams about you."

"Really?" Jonathan asked, feeling relieved and only a bit less strange.

"Oh, yeah. Plenty of times. And some of them were, you know... beforewestarteddating." Chris abruptly shoved a bunch of cereal into his mouth as Jonathan looked wildly at him.

"Wait..." Jonathan shifted a little in his chair. "When you said that you... missed this, and you've had dreams about it before... were they those kinds of dreams?"

"Some of them," Chris replied, then scrunched up his nose. "Does that freak you out?"

"No," Jonathan said, shaking his head, "it's actually a bit of a relief."

"What's a relief?"

Chris and Jonathan looked up to see Penny walking into the room. She stopped in front of the table and tiredly placed her hands on her hips.

"It's something we're going to have to have a talk about, isn't it?" she asked.

"Mum-"

"It's nothing, Penny," Chris coolly interrupted. "Just usual things that teenage boys think about."

Penny was not assured by Chris's response. "Great. Now we have to have a talk."

Jonathan shot a look at Chris. He always dreaded parental talks, and now that they had shifted more towards adult topics, he enjoyed them even less. Chris looked back at him with an innocent and apologetic stare, and Jonathan knew he couldn't be mad for long. In fact, he already wasn't mad at Chris.

In an attempt to distract his mother as she sat down at the table, Jonathan asked, "Mum, are you feeling all right? You look a bit tired, at least."

"Yeah, well, I had a rough day yesterday. I got out of work a bit late and I didn't come home until much later after that."

Penny groaned and buried her face in her hands. It was one of the few moments in Jonathan's life that he wished his father was still alive. Then his mother wouldn't have to work so hard.

"Yeah... why did you come home so late?" Jonathan skeptically asked.

Penny dropped her hands and glared at Jonathan, almost as if she knew that he was suspicious of her and she tried to convey to him that there was no reason to be. "I was asked to a parent-teacher conference. Actually, I was basically forced to it."

"Jonathan," Chris sang, "in trouble again, are we?"

"I wouldn't be so quick to pin it on Jonathan, Chris, as it was your English teacher I met with," Penny sharply said.

"Oh." Chris stopped smirking and ate some of his cereal.

"And it wasn't anything bad, he just wanted to speak about your highly skilled writing. He suggested you enroll in some sort of summer writing program."

Chris's eyes widened a little as he thought about it. "That would be cool!"

"Is that something you're actually interested in, then?" she asked him.

Chris sighed and shook his head insistently. "Aw, no, Penny, I couldn't let you do that-"

"Chris," she sternly interjected. "You have lived in this house for over a year now, you are my responsibility, and if there's something like this that you want to do, something that you're interested in that will benefit you in the long run, then I would be more than willing to pay for it."

"But I..." Chris realized it was no use fighting, not only because he was fighting against something he wanted, but also because the stubborn look on Penny's face said she wouldn't back down. "OK. I'll still feel bad, though."

"Then you can write about it." Chris laughed a little, and Penny smiled in return.

"Thank you," Chris said, and he gave Penny a kiss on the cheek.

"Yeah, yeah," she droned. "Now, about this talk we need to have." Penny stood up and walked around the table, aiming for the counter where her precious coffee awaited.

"Mum," Jonathan whined, turning around in his chair. "Do we really have to?"

"Yes," Penny replied without looking back. "It's not like I'm thrilled about it either, Jonathan, but I'm not going to be some irresponsible and clueless parent. And I don't want to have irresponsible and clueless children around, either."

"Mum, you're acting like there's some possible way for either of us to... I don't know, get pregnant or something."

"I wouldn't let that happen, anyway," Chris quietly said. "Not again."

Penny turned around and threw her hands onto her hips. "Jonathan, that's a pretty crude thing for you to say. There are other consequences of having sex, you know." Jonathan cringed at his mother's use of the word 'sex'. Penny sighed and let her hands drop limply. "This is not a conversation I ever wanted to have with you. It was supposed to be your father's... Well, I guess we can all deal."

"Penny," Chris began, "I should point out that we haven't actually done anything ye- uh, in case you were wondering."

"I appreciate your input, Chris, but believe me, I know you haven't done anything yet."

"Oh," Chris said, and ducked his head. Jonathan glared at him for a little while, almost as if to say that Chris had no right to be embarrassed, only he did.

"Clearly, you both want to, and that's where the problem starts. I can set rules, I can't actually enforce them... especially when I'm not around. And..." Penny sat down beside Jonathan and rested her forehead in her palms. "I know you're not stupid boys, please don't act like it. That's all I can really say, I'm too worn out to deal with this now."

"It's a serious thing," Jonathan quietly agreed. "Mum, I'm not taking this lightly..." Jonathan held himself back from added that if he was, he'd have already jumped Chris. It was true, but he didn't need his mother knowing that, though he had a feeling she somehow knew anyway.

Jonathan expected Penny to reply at some point, but it was Chris who spoke long before she did. "Jay, I think... I think we should talk about it. Because..." Chris was clearly struggling to get the words out, his cheeks lightly flushed and only growing redder as he continued to speak. "I've never gone that far with a boy. I mean, obviously you haven't either, but... I'm almost afraid to."

"If you're not ready... that's fine," Jonathan said. "I'm not entirely sure-" Jonathan shifted in his chair, trying to forget the presence of his mother. "Maybe neither of us are actually ready."

"It's not that I'm not ready, just that... Well, I think a tiny part of me wants to believe that it's still not true, and then my parents won't hate me." Chris smiled painfully. "I know that's ridiculous. I'm gay, and nothing will change that. But they can't change either, and so if I go ahead and... then there's really no hope left. Does that make sense?"

Jonathan nodded slightly and reached across the table for Chris's hand. "Yeah, it makes sense."

"I mean, I don't think it really makes sense," Chris said. "It's not rational, anyway."

"Well, your parents aren't very rational, either. So it fits, I guess," Jonathan said a bit lightheartedly. Chris's smile turned a little more pleasant-looking, and he nodded his agreement.

"They are the nastiest people I've ever met. They are the biggest couple of vain snobs this town has ever seen. All they care about is appearances and wealth, and if you don't fit in then you're completely out of luck. They surround themselves with people just like them, but they're still far worse. Far, far worse. Really, it's a good thing that I'm not being raised like that anymore." Chris took a deep breath, and his smile faded. "But they're still my parents. And no matter how many times I tell myself to just hate them because they're not worth it, I just can't. But they hate me. It's so unfair."

"I don't think they hate you, exactly-"

"They disapprove of me, whatever. It all amounts to the same thing. They'll never speak to me again, because I couldn't live up to their standards." Chris briefly looked down at his and Jonathan's hands, then back up at Jonathan and Penny. "I don't think either of you know how much it means to me that you've given me as much as you have. That house that I grew up in... I always thought it was home. It just seemed right to call it that. But this is my home now, and I've realized that what I had before was really just a place to stay. And get food and stuff like that," Chris laughed.

"Well, Chris, it might sound a bit odd," Penny started, "but I think you were just what this household needed after Randall passed. And maybe, in some strange way, it was what was meant to happen."

"Maybe it was," Chris said, almost pointlessly. Then he shook his head and smiled again. "Anyway, I'm so glad I have you guys."

"And we're glad to have you," Penny happily replied.

Then suddenly the phone rang.

"I'll get it!" Chris jumped up from his seat and grabbed the phone, spinning it around in his hand in an attempt to be cool. He nearly dropped it, and Jonathan laughed at him.

"Nice one, Chris." Chris made a face at him, then answered the phone.

"Hello?" he chirped. "Yeah... Uh, no, why?..." Chris's face suddenly went blank and he lowered his voice as he spoke more directly into the phone, "Really?... Yeah, yeah, sure. I'll see you soon."

Chris ghostly placed the phone back on its receiver. He slowly turned to Jonathan and Penny, and the latter asked, "What was that about?"

"I, uh... I have to go pick up Ty..." Chris realized that he'd been addressing the floor, so he raised his head and continued, "Kirsten ran away." Chris paused, but ignored Penny and Jonathan's reactions and started for the door.


	13. Chapter 13

"Still no sign of her," Jonathan said as he entered the room. Chris was sitting on the couch with Ty, worrying like crazy. Ty obliviously stared at Jonathan. "Mitch just called, said they've been looking all day. And they searched her room for any sorts of clues or whatever, but they haven't found anything."

"I can't believe she would just leave like that," Chris said, shaking his head. Jonathan sat down beside him. "Why would she leave?"

"Maybe she just..." Jonathan sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. "I don't know."

"At least she didn't take Ty with her, the stupid-" Chris began, his voice teeming with anger, but he stopped himself when Ty started to whine. "No, no, Ty," he hushed, "don't cry. I'm sorry. Daddy's just a little stressed right now. But it's OK, we'll find mummy. You'll see her again soon enough."

Chris pulled Ty a little closer to him, and Ty let his head fall against Chris's chest. Just watching them made Jonathan almost want to cry.

"She couldn't have gone far," Jonathan offered as help. "She never really seemed like the type to go through with something like this anyway. Running away, I mean."

Jonathan looked to the floor, and Chris stared across the room at the wall, absentmindedly patting down some of Ty's unruly curls. Then he turned to Jonathan and asked quietly, as if to make sure Ty didn't hear, "What if she doesn't come back?"

"Then she's the worst mother ever," Jonathan simply replied. His eyes met Chris's and it was instantly as though he could read Chris's mind. "You would do fine raising him by yourself, if you really had to. I could always help, if you need it."

Chris persistently shook his head as he stared down at Ty, and Jonathan was certain he saw a tear fall from Chris's cheek. "Ty's already going to have a rough life as it is. Teenaged parents who aren't together, one of whom is gay... that's bad enough. Then if he's down to just having a gay dad..." Chris sighed. "Sometimes I just wish I could go back in time and stop it from happening. I love Ty, but I just feel like I messed up his life."

"Kirsten's just as responsible as you are. Besides, I thought you said Ty was a strong kid. He can take it."

"If she doesn't turn up again, then she's more responsible for messing him up," Chris said. Jonathan smiled at what he thought was Chris's attempt at feeling better about the situation, though he knew full well that Chris felt not one iota better about anything.

"He's not messed up, Chris, he's just a baby. He's not old enough to be messed up yet. And you can teach him to work with what he's got, so he won't ever be messed up." Jonathan placed his hand under Chris's chin and lifted his head up. "If anyone's messed up around here, it's you, but you handle everything in ways that no one else could. If you can teach him to do that- or maybe he already knows, maybe it's genetic. But he'll be fine."

As Chris stared with disbelieving eyes, Jonathan leaned forward and softly kissed him. "OK," he whispered.

Jonathan let his hand fall and he sat back a bit as Penny strolled into the room. Wordlessly, she sat down in the chair opposite Jonathan and Chris and folded her hands in her lap. The four sat in silence for several minutes, the only exception being when Ty hiccuped a few times.

"What time is it?" Chris asked. Jonathan responded with a rough estimate, and Chris nodded a little. "I should feed Ty."

He quickly lifted Ty and stood up. Ty rested against Chris's shoulder as Chris carried him into the kitchen.

Penny sighed deeply, then said, "I always knew there was something wrong with that family."

"What?" Jonathan asked, looking up with slight bewilderment.

"Oh, they were always nice people, sure," Penny said. "Hardly anyone around here as kind as they were. But there was just something off about them. Your father insisted that there was nothing wrong with any of them, and that I was just imagining things. Well, here we are well over a decade later and their children are two of the most mentally unstable..."

Penny's voice and thoughts trailed off, leaving Jonathan to feel like he should pick things up. "She'll come around, Kirsten will. I don't think she could actually leave and be gone forever."

In the other room, Chris paused, his hand suspended in midair, holding a spoon up to Ty. He lowered his hand a little and quietly said, "Hear that? It's all going to be good. If Jay says it, then it has to be true."

Then he heard Penny speak. "Well, at least it's gotten us away from that chat... Chris is really not discreet about much, is he?"

"No, he's not," Jonathan agreed. Chris laughed to himself a little.

"Everyone talks about me when they think I can't hear, I said it before, didn't I? It's true, but at least they won't say anything bad," he said to Ty, giving a small nod in the direction of the living room. "Penny and Jonathan are far too nice for that."

"He's not like that with everyone, though, I don't think," Jonathan continued. "It seems like he doesn't trust most other people. Not that I blame him."

"I have to thank you, you know that?" Chris asked Ty as he brought the spoon towards Ty's mouth again. "You may not be able to do much yet, but you really helped me. If it wasn't for you, I'd probably still be silently pining for Jonathan."

Ty smiled at Chris, and Chris had a moment where he realized once again that he was a father, that this tiny creature in front of him was essentially a part of him. It made him smile back and nearly tear up.

"I guess this is the plus side, huh? We get to spend more time together." Chris lifted his hand and tapped Ty on the nose. Then he sat back and observed Ty, twisting his mouth pensively. "I just wish you could talk. Then it would be a lot more entertaining."

"He'll talk soon enough." Chris had hardly realized that Penny had walked in, so it was with a bit of shock that he looked up at the doorway. "Hell, before you know it he'll be a teenager, running around and chasing after girls- or," she waved her hand carelessly through the air, "maybe boys."

Chris smiled and looked back at Ty. "He won't cause much trouble. Will you, Ty?"

"Yeah, you can keep telling yourself that until you're-" Penny paused briefly to shoot a weird look at Jonathan, who had just entered the room so quickly that he nearly crashed into the side of the doorway- "until you're blue in the face, but that won't make it true. In a rush, are we, Jonathan?"

"I was lonely out there," Jonathan innocently replied. He stared at his mother with youthful eyes for only a moment longer, then squeezed past her and sat himself down beside Chris. "Listen, I don't want to think about when Ty's that old."

"You don't want to think about it?" Chris laughed incredulously. "How do you think I feel?"

"We're gonna be, like, thirty," Jonathan said.

"Yeah, and you'll... probably have your own kids." Chris turned away from Jonathan, trying not to frown. Jonathan leaned over to try to catch Chris's gaze once more.

"My own kids?" Chris's eyes met Jonathan's with a bit of disbelief.

"You can't honestly tell me that you're not going to get married and have kids one day."

"Well... I don't know." Jonathan shrugged his shoulders and looked down at the table. "I mean, I didn't realize you thought about stuff like that... I never really thought about us not..."

"Jonathan," Chris droned as if it was the millionth time he had to say it, "I love you, but it's completely unrealistic to think that we'll always be together. It's tough to hear that, I know, but it's something that I came to terms with the last time you dumped me."

Jonathan lifted his eyes to Chris and quietly said, "I did that to help you."

"I know." Chris smiled and took one of Jonathan's hands. "And I'm pretty much glad you did. It's just that somewhere down the road we're gonna realize we want different things, Jay. And that's life."

"So... is there even a point in us being together?"

Chris's eyes went wide and he looked like he was about to smack himself in the forehead because of all the ridiculousness. "Of course there is! Jay, do the words 'I love you' mean nothing to you?"

"I thought they meant nothing to you." Chris groaned and fell forward dramatically, resting his head on Jonathan's shoulder. Jonathan, temporarily forgetting that he was a bit peeved, smiled and even laughed a little. "You know... maybe there are things that are a tad bit more important right now that we should be focusing on. Even though I love you."

"Oh, what, like my missing baby mama?" Chris asked, his voice muffled by the fabric of Jonathan's shirt. He lifted his head and sighed, continuing on much more clearly. "I guess her whereabouts are a bit more pressing at the moment." Chris dully rolled his eyes, and Jonathan laughed at him. Chris pecked him on the cheek, then turned to Ty. "Ty, maybe we should go for a walk. You know, we could keep an eye out on the way."

Ty stared at Chris, blissfully unaware of anything Chris had just said. But Chris just pretended that Ty was able to agree with him. "Wonderful!" He quickly turned, accidentally, but not roughly, hitting Jonathan's arm with his hand. "Jay, come with us."

"Hmm..." Jonathan paused for a long time in an attempt to build suspense, and possibly to annoy Chris. Chris wasn't fazed much, though. "All right. I've got nothing better to do, anyway."

Chris smiled and shook his head, but his grin faded as he looked around the room. "When did your mum leave??"

"Probably once we started talking about us being thirty. I don't think she's ready to deal with that thought."

"Hey, you're the one who said it first-"

"And you're the one who said that thing about me having kids!" Jonathan retorted. Chris thought for a few moments, then nodded.

"Then we are both to blame. Either way, let's go for a walk now." Chris stood up and stretched a bit, the tiny bit of skin his shirt revealed as it lifted a little doing nothing to help Jonathan's still scattered mind. To be productive, Jonathan stopped staring and quickly walked around Chris, grabbing Ty out of his high chair and bringing him into the other room. "Hey..."

Jonathan kept walking into the living room, where he was reunited with his mother. Not long after, Chris came running in, and he stopped a few inches away from Jonathan. "Oh, hey, Chris," Jonathan coolly said.

"Excuse me, Jay, I would like my son back," Chris said. Jonathan turned his eyes to Chris, tilting his head.

"Nah, he seems pretty happy with me." Jonathan looked to Ty and continued, "Aren't you? Aren't you happy with me? Come on, Ty, if we're going on a walk, you're gonna need a jacket and stuff."

Jonathan left the room again, headed in the direction of the stairs and, presumably, Chris's bedroom. Chris raised his arms in the air as if to remark on how unbelievable his life was at the moment, and Penny just shot him a helpless look in return.

"I swear I don't know where he gets it from," she said. "But maybe you should make sure he doesn't drop him or anything."

"Oh God!" Chris exclaimed, then bolted out the doorway.

Much to his delight, Ty was safely in tact when Chris stumbled into his room, panting and shaking a little. Jonathan quickly looked at him, then returned to searching through the bag on Chris's bed.

"His jacket's on my chair," Chris said, pointing towards the desk in the corner of the room. Jonathan stopped digging and looked over.

"Oh."

As Jonathan went to fetch the jacket, Chris took the opportunity to resume control over his son. While Jonathan was turned the other way, he quickly checked to make sure there were no sudden marks on Ty. He sighed with relief when he found nothing, though perhaps a little too loudly.

"Geez, Chris, don't have a heart attack or anything. I wasn't going to let anything happen to him." Jonathan stood beside Chris, holding out Ty's jacket. Chris took the clothing from him, and having nothing else to use his hand for, Jonathan placed it carefully on Chris's lower back.

Chris lifted Ty- now sporting his thick navy blue jacket- and held him close, narrowing his eyes at Jonathan. "You're lucky nothing did happen."

"Yeah, or what?"

"Or I would have to..." Chris abruptly paused, his eyes darting back and forth between Jonathan and Ty. He seemed to be silently asking for help from one of them, but he certainly didn't receive any. "I don't know!"

"See, and that is why you should not make threats like that," Jonathan replied, and he grinned smugly. Chris narrowed his eyes again, then briefly leaned forward to brush his lips against Jonathan's.

"Come on, genius," Chris quietly giggled, "let's go."

"Was that supposed to be sarcasm?" Jonathan asked, staring wide-eyed with concern, but by this point Chris had already left the room, Ty resting in his arms. "I don't even get why you would say that... Chris!"

Only once the three were standing just in front of the porch outside did Jonathan get a chance to speak to Chris again, but he no longer cared about Chris's previous statement. He was more focused on the cold, though it was not as bone-chilling as it had been a few days prior. Chris seemed preoccupied with this, too; he was very closely examining Ty, trying to tell whether or not the tiny baby was well-heated.

"Do you think he looks warm enough?" Chris asked Jonathan, eyes still stuck on Ty. "Are you warm enough, Ty? Maybe I should have grabbed his hat, too..."

"He looks fine," Jonathan answered, though he wasn't exactly being truthful. Chris believed him anyway, and they began to walk to the sidewalk.

"One of these days, Ty, you'll be able to walk by yourself. Well, I mean, I won't have to hold you. Isn't that cool?" Ty blinked at Chris, but Chris thought he saw a hint of a smile somewhere in his cute baby face.

"He seems thrilled," Jonathan sarcastically replied. "I know I would be."

"I think it's cool."

"I would much rather have people carry me around all my life." Chris looked to Jonathan and smiled, his blue eyes shining as the sunlight snuck through the shelter of trees and hit his face.

"I wouldn't expect you to understand, Jay," he said. "You're just a simple, carefree teenage boy."

"And you're better than that?"

"I'm not carefree, I have a child to look after." Chris hoisted Ty up his side a little further, as he had been slipping some. "And I think it's cool that this little guy will be like us one day, walking around and talking nonstop."

"I think that's more like you," Jonathan joked.

"Well, sure," Chris admitted, blushing a little for almost no reason. His fingers were started to feel a little stiff in the cold, so he flexed them. "He is my kid, after all."

"That's so weird..."

Chris brought his eyes up to meet Jonathan's. Even without further explanation he knew what Jonathan was talking about. "It is, a bit."

"Do you ever..." Jonathan began, but something made him change his mind and he trailed off mid-sentence. Instead, he watched the cracks in the sidewalk pass as his feet glided over the paved surface.

"What?"

Jonathan thought for a second longer, then shook his head. "Nothing. Never mind."

"No, tell me. Please?" It took Jonathan a few seconds to see the face Chris was making, since his eyes were still so attached to the ground; for several moments longer than he should have been doing so, Chris stuck out his bottom lip and batted his eyelashes a thousand times in a row.

When Jonathan saw Chris, he shortly laughed. "All right. I was just wondering if you ever regret... that... night," Jonathan replied, trying but failing to come up with better terminology to describe the even he was referring to. As vague as his words were, though, Chris understood what he meant.

"Well... I mean, really, I regretted it before it happened..." Chris looked a little sad, but he tried to brighten up as he added, "I don't regret having Ty. I'm actually really glad for him, even though it would have definitely been better for me to not be a father at sixteen."

Suddenly Jonathan stopped right in the middle of the sidewalk, and after a few seconds Chris noticed, and he stopped, too. He didn't dare ask what Jonathan was doing, though it became clear quite quickly; Jonathan pulled off his right shoe and turned it upside down, seemingly trying to empty its contents onto the sidewalk. Chris saw a few tiny rocks fall out, and as he watched Jonathan put his shoe back on, he couldn't help laughing a little.

"What?" Jonathan innocently asked. "Those rocks were killing me."

"I'm sure they were," Chris said with a smile. "How'd you manage to get rocks in your shoes, exactly?"

Jonathan took the few steps that had distanced himself from Chris, then they both began to walk on. Jonathan shrugged and made an odd noise by pushing some air past his nearly closed lips. "Beats me."

Chris was going to reply, but decided to just laugh again and shake his head. Then there was silence as they walked down the road towards the corner of the street, where they would probably turn around and head back home. Another person was walking in the opposite direction, hands shoved in the pockets of their jacket, the hood of which was covering their head entirely as they stared at the ground. Chris wondered if that person even realized they were walking as well, or maybe they would just bump into each other.

It seemed as though the other person did recognize their presence, and even tried to completely avoid the boys altogether. But as the mysterious stranger passed by, something clicked; Jonathan's head turned and he loudly exclaimed, "Oh my God, Kirsten!"

"What?" Chris immediately asked. He turned around fully, and the hooded figure had stopped, as if Kirsten knew she'd been caught, but for some reason she thought she might get away with it if she began to walk away fast. "Kirsten!!"

This time she stopped and turned to them. A guilty smile spread across her face, and even though they had certainly recognized her, she kept her hood up as she strolled over to the boys.

"Hey... guys..."


	14. Chapter 14

Chris felt the anger rising in his chest, but he decided not to do anything about it just yet, at least not with Ty so near. As a baby, he shouldn't have to be subjected to such sorts of negativity, especially not when it involved both of his parents having a shouting match.

Chris turned to Jonathan and tried to smile. It was weak and obviously fake, but Jonathan didn't pay it much attention. "Jay, could you take Ty back to the house for me?"

Jonathan nodded and carefully took Ty from Chris. Making sure he had a good hold on the baby, Jonathan walked away, only glancing back once to give Chris a reassuring smile.

Kirsten stared at her feet, her hood sliding back a little as her head was pulled forward. She could sense that Chris was angry, and she understood that. He had a right to be, even though she felt that if she could explain he might feel differently. But she wanted him to speak first.

"Kirsten, how the hell could you do that?" Chris eventually asked. His voice shook like he was trying to keep calm, but having immense difficulty doing so. "How could you just run away?"

Kirsten felt Chris's bright blue eyes trying to pierce through her skull and penetrate her mind, trying to find some meaning in all of this. Kirsten kept her head down.

"Did you even bother to think about Ty? Or is that why you-"

"Oh, what, you couldn't handle taking care of Ty for an entire day? Is he too much for you?" She hadn't meant to say it, and she instantly regretted lashing out when she looked up and saw the expression on Chris's face, his mouth slightly open in shock.

"I didn't say that," he said, raising his voice a bit. "I just meant that if you had never come back, Ty would have grown up without his mother." Then he quieted down and added, "I would love to take care of Ty more often."

Kirsten frowned at him, hoping that he would realize she was sorry for snapping at him. "I know you would. I only did this for Ty, anyway."

"What do you mean? What does Ty get out of not having his mum around?"

"It's just that Ty's almost always with me, and so he doesn't really know you well, does he? But at home, Devon's constantly telling him that you're awful and a bunch of other stupid stuff. I can't really stop him, especially if he says those things to him while I'm still in school. So, I figured..." Kirsten shrugged and looked off into the distance. "If I ran away, then you would have to take care of him, and he would know what a great person you are. He would be able to see that what Devon tells him isn't true. And then you have Jonny, and he'd only say good things about you, too."

Chris stared blankly at Kirsten for a while, then shook his head. "Why couldn't you just tell someone you felt that way instead of actually leaving? Or ask me to watch Ty more, I wouldn't mind."

"I don't know, Chris, because I'm fourteen? I don't know how to handle this stuff."

"Maybe you should have thought about that fourteen months ago," Chris quietly told her. Then, as if he regretted saying it, he added, "Though I guess you couldn't have known about Devon, and... whatever. You're here now, and that's all that matters. Actually I think you should go see your parents, because they are so worried about you." Kirsten silently nodded, and Chris sighed deeply. "Kirsten?"

"Yeah?"

Chris ducked his head and in a low voice asked, "Is it all right if I watch Ty for the rest of the weekend?"

Kirsten smiled at him. "I think that would be good."

"I'll see you tomorrow, then," he said with a hint of excitement. He then left Kirsten, assuming that she could be trusted to return to her home while he returned to his.

Almost instantly upon Chris's arrival and the sound of the door closing, a frazzled-looking Jonathan appeared in the narrow hall separating the living room from the kitchen. In his arms was Ty, head laying against Jonathan's shoulder and eyes shut tight.

"He fell asleep," Jonathan expressed with wide eyes. "When we got back I didn't feel like sitting down, so I walked around the house a bit, and he fell asleep while I was holding him, but then I didn't want to sit down or put him down or anything because I was afraid that he'd wake up and start crying and I had no idea when you'd be back and I wasn't sure that I could get him to stop crying if he did and he is so heavy when he's asleep!"

Chris stared at Jonathan for a few moments, trying to comprehend all of the words being thrust in his direction. He took a breath, a step forward, and said, "OK, I'll take him."

Carefully he slipped his hands underneath Ty's arms and pulled him from Jonathan, hoisting the tiny baby over his own shoulder. Ty woke and, as Jonathan had predicted, made some noise, but, realizing that he was now being held by his father, he fell quiet again shortly thereafter.

"So, what happened?" Jonathan asked, rubbing the shoulder where Ty had just been resting.

"Come on, let's go sit down," Chris said, nodding to the living room. They walked in and sat on the sofa as Chris had suggested, Ty already asleep once more by the time Chris began to explain. He took a few minutes to tell Jonathan everything, and when he had finished his last sentence, Penny joined their company.

"They found Kirsten-" she began, but was cut off by both boys.

"We know," they simultaneously said, then Chris turned to Jonathan and smiled.

"Well, that must make you two the brightest and most special boys around, huh?" Penny sarcastically asked as she took a seat in one of the arm chairs in the room. "I see Ty is completely unaffected by all of this."

Chris looked down at his son, the tiny black curls falling around his eyes, a most peaceful expression drawn on his small face.

"That's good," Penny continued. "It's better that he's too young to understand when things like this happen."

Chris shook his head a little, and he lightly brushed Ty's hair out of his face. "I think he understands a lot more than anyone thinks. Maybe more than anyone else understands."

Penny did not argue with Chris; she too knew what it was like to be a parent of such a small, promising child. Not that Jonathan was a failure in any way, but she had believed when he was a baby that he would be impossibly more than he had turned out to be. Her son was fine the way he was, and she had learned to accept that her dreams were nothing more than that- just dreams, and outlandish ones at that.

The sparkle in Chris's eye as he looked down at his son, possibly imagining Ty as the world's next super-genius, continued to shine as he glanced up at Jonathan. In that moment Chris was overcome with a sense of serenity, like everything in his life was finally going right. He was spending time with his wonderful, albeit currently unconscious, son, whose mother only intended for them to get to know each other better, and sitting beside him was the loveliest boy he could have ever hoped to meet, let alone date.

And it was in that moment that the one thing that had weighed Chris down most over the past year suddenly disappeared, and he no longer cared about the loss of his parents' approval. What he had now was enough for him.

"Jay," Chris suddenly said, "you're looking very gorgeous today."

Jonathan blushed a little, which only made Chris smile and admire him even more. His green eyes wandered around the room for a while, then we he looked back to find Chris still staring at him, his cheeks flushed an even deeper red. "That was kinda random, but thanks." He glanced furtively at his mother, then leaned forward and said in the lowest voice he could muster, "You look really... gorgeous, too."

Chris gave a small laugh, and if it hadn't been for the baby in the way, he would have kissed Jonathan. Instead, he winked and saw Jonathan bite his lip as the corners of his mouth twitched upwards. And what Chris would have given then to be back in the safety of his dreams, or perhaps of Jonathan's; he had never actually heard any of the details of Jonathan's provocative dream, though he was willing to bet that it was good.

"Of course, I think you look gorgeous everyday."

Jonny exhaled frantically and shook his head, as if those movements would remove the red that was only burning hotter on his face. He lowered his head, and Chris knew that Jonathan's embarrassment was a sign of his gratitude, and that it was most likely caused by the presence of his mother. When Chris looked over to Penny, though, he noticed that she seemed to be experiencing the same sort of drowsiness that had plagued Ty, for her eyes were closed and her head was rested upon her hand, dangerously close to slipping as her breathing evened out.

So Jonathan and Chris were alone, yet not, all at once. They could at least say whatever they wanted, though neither would for fear that one of the room's other occupants would overhear and cause a fuss. Penny was obviously more likely to do so than Ty, but either way it was a risk neither boy was willing to take.

Chris rested against the back of the sofa and just watched Jonathan breathe and generally live. It was always an amazing concept to Chris that every person had a heart of their own that beat and kept them in this world, but he thought it was even more astounding in Jonathan's case, simply because he was Jonathan, and Chris loved him.

An hour or two passed this way, and sometimes Chris would stop looking at Jonathan and Jonathan would take over, staring at Chris and marveling at his existence. Then there were times when they both looked at each other, and Jonathan sat nearer to Chris, but he couldn't grab Chris's hand or lay his arm around Chris's shoulder, so he settled for edging his foot closer to Chris's.

When Jonathan set his eyes upon Chris, he felt like he had so much to say, but he needn't actually say any of it. There was some sort of telepathy between the two boys that required nothing to be spoken, even over the span of a few hours. Everything was just thought and felt by both.

Eventually the tiredness slipped into their bodies as well, and Chris found his eyes closing on the image of Jonathan curled up against the armrest of the sofa, already gone into the world of dreams.

Then the next thing he knew it was dark in the room except for a lamp illuminated by Penny's seat, Penny leaned towards it with a book in her hands, and he looked down to find that Ty was awake as well. Ty's bright blue eyes were directed at Chris's, his tiny hand trying to grab at Chris's collar.

"Well," Chris drowsily began, still trying to blink away the tiredness in his eyes, "there goes my Saturday, huh?"

Chris readjusted his position so that Ty was sitting, facing him, on his lap. Ty laughed at him, and made some incoherent noises.

"It's just as well, I don't think I'd have done anything more important anyway." Beside him, Jonathan twitched, his leg hitting Chris unintentionally, but with a decent amount of force nonetheless. "Oi, do you see this?" Chris asked Ty. "Domestic abuse, I think."

It was probably the ridiculous tone of Chris's voice that made Ty laugh a little more. Chris snapped his head and shot a look at the baby. "Oh, I'm glad you find my injuries amusing. I suppose it's best to find out now just what kind of son I have."

Ty, oblivious, continued smiling. Chris laughed back at him, and gently kissed the top of his head. Then he turned to Jonathan, who appeared to be still curled up and sleeping as if nothing had ever happened. But Chris thought he looked really cute; he realized then that before this day he had only ever seen Jonathan conscious. It was almost like a new milestone for him.

"Aw, Ty, look at Jay sleeping," Chris whispered. "How adorable is he?"

"Gaa," Ty replied. It may have not actually meant anything, but Chris seemed to understand what Ty was saying.

"Yeah," Chris agreed, his tone riddled with admiration, "he is." Chris smiled, and at that particular moment Jonathan's eyelids fluttered and he looked around to identify where he was. He quickly realized, and as he turned his head he saw that Chris was watching him.

"That's kinda creepy, you know." Jonathan sat himself up, stretching as much as he could given the limitations of the sofa.

"Oh, you wanna see creepy?" Chris asked, widening his eyes and leaning as close as he could to Jonathan. Then he smiled without parting his lips, and Jonathan tried to move back some.

"OK, you can stop doing that," Jonathan told him, but Chris was not going to let that stop him. He just kept moving further and further until he had Jonathan squished up against the arm of the couch. For a few seconds he stayed perfectly still, smiling, then he moved forward one last time and kissed Jonathan square on the mouth. Then he laughed and sat back, allowing Jonathan to reposition himself as well.

"You two have to be the weirdest kids around here," Penny said from across the room without looking up from her book. "Seriously."

Chris thought this over for a while, his eyes wandering ponderously up to the ceiling. They were a little odd, he had to admit, though it was probably he who was the stranger of the two and usually the source of their interesting ventures.

Then suddenly Chris stood up, holding firmly onto Ty, and began to walk out of the room without so much as one word.

"Wait," Jonathan called, "where are you going?"

"My room," Chris replied, not looking back or stopping. As he rounded the corner and headed for the stairs, his voice carried into the room, "I have this urge to write now, and I feel that I should not ignore it."

Jonathan sat around for a bit longer, twiddling his thumbs, then decided to join Chris. When he entered the room at the end of the hall, he found Chris sitting on his bed, Ty next to him leaning back against some pillows to help him sit up. Chris was already fervently scribbling words on a paper, but as soon as he sensed Jonathan's presence he stopped and looked up.

"Hey, Jay," he said, and then went back to writing. Jonathan admired Chris from the doorway for a few seconds, then walked over to the edge of the bed and took a seat.

"What are you writing?" he asked.

"Something new," Chris said. Jonathan took that to mean that Chris had only just started the story that very same day, but Jonathan noticed that there were at least three pages laying beside Chris that were filled entirely. "Wanna read what I have so far?"

"Sure." Chris gave Jonathan the few pages and Jonathan began to read. It was, in Jonathan's opinion, much like the rest of Chris's stories- not in plot, though, but in the fantastic quality of writing. Something like pride always swelled inside of him whenever he read anything Chris wrote. It was almost as if he knew that one day Chris would make it big with his writing, and Jonathan would be extraordinarily grateful to be able to say that he was there in the days when Chris would stow away in his room and write for hours without telling anyone what he was doing.

Jonathan sat in Chris's room and read until he finally decided that he should go to bed, even though he'd taken a rather long nap earlier. He said goodnight to Chris and Ty and went off into his room. As he looked at his unmade bed, he remembered the dream he'd had the night before, and almost hoped that he didn't have another dream like that. Not that the dream hadn't been enjoyable, he just felt too uncomfortable with it during his waking hours.

But as he tried to fall asleep, he found it difficult to think of anything else except that dream, and the way it felt to be so close to Chris in a way he never had been before. Then, thinking back to what Chris had said about them not always being together, he wondered if they would ever even get to that point, if their relationship would even survive long enough for it to happen. Jonathan decided that it would.

The last thing he pictured before he finally drifted off was what his life would be like in the future; he knew Chris was right, but he couldn't help thinking what it would be like for them to stay together even when they did hit thirty, and maybe even after that. Chris was such a great person- what if the family Chris mentioned Jonathan would want was theirs? What if they ended up married in some way? Jonathan wouldn't mind that.


	15. Chapter 15

Though his eyes were closed, Jonathan was already awake when he heard the creaking of his floor and felt a small weight being placed beside him. It was another few seconds before he heard a squeaky voice call out to him.

"Jaayyy... Jaaayyyyy..." He ignored the voice and kept his eyes shut tight. The voice just pressed on, and he even felt a hand pushing his arm. "Wakey-wakey! It's little Tyrone Bunimo here-"

"Bunimo?!" Jonathan opened his eyes and sat up, turning to face the disturbance. Ty was being held next to him by what appeared to be a set of floating hands, but soon Chris's head popped up from the edge of the bed.

"That's his middle name," Chris said. "Did you not know that?"

Jonny stared at the two for a bit, then rolled his eyes. "Obviously. Bunimo??"

Chris, trying not to let his grip on Ty slip too much, carefully held up one of his hands in defense. "It was all Kirsten, I promise."

"Is that even a name?" Jonathan asked, shaking his head and narrowing his eyes.

"Seems so." Chris stood up and brought Ty with him, letting the baby rest in his arms. "Are you gonna get up or what? Penny said she's making breakfast now."

"Yeah," Jonathan droned, "I'll be down in a few minutes."

Chris left the room, bouncing Ty a little as he walked. Jonathan thought he even heard Chris start to sing, his voice carrying through the hall. He smiled to himself and thought about getting up. Then he thought about it some more for quite a few minutes, until his legs finally decided to receive the signals from his brain and moved to the floor.

The carpet felt soft under his feet, and it took him another minute or so to coax himself into actually getting up this time. In all honesty what made him do it was the picture he had of Chris sitting downstairs, probably talking to Ty about things Ty really had no interest in whatsoever. He loved that side of Chris.

Sure enough, as he walked into the kitchen the first thing he saw was Ty in his high chair, Chris leaned in close and muttering a bunch of things to him. Jonathan sat down in the seat opposite Chris and just stared for a while.

"And Jonathan is what we call 'eavesdropping'," Chris said. "It's a big word, I know, but you'll get it one day. It means that Jay is listening to our conversation even though he's not a part of it, and also even though it's not much of a conversation. 'Conversation' is another rather large word, huh? But it's basically just us talking."

"Or Chris is attempting to have a conversation with you, but it's not working out because you can't talk back," Jonathan said to Ty. "Though that works well for him, because now he doesn't have anyone telling him to shut up."

"Except you." Chris smiled brightly and condescendingly, and Jonathan narrowed his eyes at him. Then, from somewhere on the table Jonathan managed to find a few crumbs of whatever had been for dinner the night before that he picked up and threw at Chris. "Jonathan!!"

"Christopher!!" Jonathan whined back in his best mocking tone. Chris tried to pull off his best angry face, but he couldn't hold it for very long and he ended up laughing. Jonathan smiled back at him, and Chris rested his chin in his hands and stared at Jonathan.

"You have such a nice smile, Jay," he said. "And a nice laugh, and nice eyes, and-"

"Chris, you could go on all day," Penny said as she walked over to the table carrying two full plates. "Move your arms, please, so I can set these down."

Chris looked up at Penny, then did as he was told and pulled his arms back. Penny placed a plate in front of each of the boys, then headed back to the stove to fix her own breakfast.

"Thanks mum," Jonathan said as she was walking away, and in return he received a noncommittal grunt. He went to grab his fork, and along the way he noticed Chris already shoveling his food down his throat. "Careful, you might choke."

"And then you'd have to give me CPR," Chris said with his mouth full of eggs. He finished chewing, swallowed, then continued sarcastically, "What a shame."

Jonathan looked at him blankly for a few seconds, then shook his head slightly. "I don't know CPR."

"It's not that hard to learn. You want me to teach you later?"

"Chris!" Penny yelled across the room. Chris spun around in his chair and smiled innocently at her. "Don't say those things around your son. Or better yet, around me."

"Sorry," he sheepishly replied, then turned back to Jonathan. "I guess that's out, then."

"It's OK, I'd rather not ever need to use CPR. Even on you." Jonathan appeared to drift off for a moment, then he added, "Especially on you. What if it didn't work?"

Chris's eyes bugged and he nearly dropped his fork on his plate. "Oh... well, that would be awful."

"Exactly," Jonathan said. He decided not to add anything more to the topic, and so he went back to eating. Within a minute Penny sat beside him, and by that time Chris had finished eating and was in the middle of bringing his plate to the sink. After the clink of the plate as it the bottom of the sink sounded, Chris opened up the refrigerator and pulled out a jar of baby food.

"What do you say, Ty, banana?" He looked up at his son, who was staring back at him. Jonathan glanced up at them as well, once again smiling to himself at Chris's quirky behavior. "Good."

Once all four of them had been fed well enough, they moved their location to the living room. Penny decided to watch some documentary on the National Geographic channel, and Jonathan and Chris sat on either end of the couch. In the middle of them was Ty, being held up by Chris, his feet just barely touching the cushion.

"Wow, Ty, you're so tall," Chris told him. "You're basically a giant."

"He does have your genes, Chris, you never know," Jonathan said. "He could end up being a giant."

"Giant Ty... it's almost like saying giant eye..."

"Well, he could end up with those, too." Chris leaned forward a little and widened his eyes a frightening amount, and in response Ty laughed. Jonathan shook his head, and turned to see what was on the television set now. Penny was still watching the National Geographic channel, and at that particular moment they were showing a rather horrifying depiction of a possible ending to the world.

Jonathan's interest decreased and he looked back at Chris and Ty. Ty was no longer standing with help from Chris, but he was sitting with his back slightly against the couch. Chris's hands were on either side of his body, there so if he fell Chris could catch him. For a few seconds Ty sat forward, but as he started to wobble Chris helped him sit back again.

"Not bad, kiddo," Chris said, smiling proudly. It was one of those moments where he was utterly amazed by everything and anything Ty did, even something as simple as blinking. "Wanna try again?"

Chris pulled Ty forward a little, and then let go, but still kept his hands close. Ty managed to sit for a little longer than before, and even Jonathan smiled at that. Having been an only child, and the youngest of three, neither Jonathan nor Chris had ever really been around a baby before, and thus they were both excited seeing Ty progress in ways such as this, though it certainly meant a lot more to Chris.

"Aw, Ty, Penny was right," Chris said, picking Ty up and sitting him back down in his lap, "you're gonna grow up too fast. Stop growing up. Do you want to stay tiny forever?"

Ty blinked at Chris, unaware, and Chris sighed. "No, you're right, that wouldn't be much fun. And you have too much wisdom in those big, blue eyes to stay like this. You need to grow up so you can spread your knowledge around to those less fortunate. Like Devon."

Chris was rather surprised to see that Ty laughed at this, and once again he felt proud of his son.

There was not much to do in the quiet house, yet the day still passed by in a flash. Chris was really sad to have to bring Ty back to Kirsten's, and as he walked back home he realized that it was a pain he would have to deal with for the rest of his life, at least until Ty was an adult himself and off on his own. But Kirsten's seeming eagerness to allow Chris to spend as much time with Ty as possible was certainly an uplifting prospect.

When Chris returned home, Jonathan was waiting for him on the porch, sitting in one of the three green plastic chairs that occupied the space. Chris, due to the fact that he had been staring at his feet, didn't notice until he had reached the first step and finally looked up. He stopped on the stair and leaned against the railing.

"Hey," Chris softly said.

"Hey." Jonathan smiled at Chris, though for some reason Chris thought he looked a little sad. He took a seat in the chair beside Jonathan.

"What are you doing out here?"

"I just felt like coming out here," Jonathan replied. He was looking down at the chair, tapping his thumb restlessly on the arm. "You know, we only bought three of these chairs because no one else ever came over, really. It was just me, my mum, and my dad..."

Chris scooted his chair closer to Jonathan's and he grabbed Jonathan's hand. "Oh, Jay..."

Jonathan looked up at Chris and tried to smile reassuringly. "It's OK. I mean... I hated him. And if he were still alive, then you certainly wouldn't be here with us, and we wouldn't be together."

"Yeah, but still, I know what it's like to not have your parents around. It's tough, if not only because you're just used to them being there, then one day that changes and nothing is ever the same, even if it's for the better." Chris's eyes were shining, and as he gave a small sigh he laid his head on Jonathan's shoulder. Moments later he felt Jonathan's chin rest on top of his head, and even though the sun was setting and the air around them was cooling very quickly, Chris felt a warm sensation tingling through his body.

"Chris," Jonathan quietly began after a long silence, "I'll always love you."

"And I you, dear Jay," Chris replied. "I don't think I could love anyone else as much as I love you." Chris lifted his head, pointing his blue eyes and Jonathan's green ones and trying to convey through them as much of his emotion and he could. "Even when we're not together anymore, I'll be there for you. If you ever need a friend... or someone to listen..."

For a reason he could not explain, Chris felt the tears start to fall down his cheeks. He tried to stop them, but it didn't work. Then Jonathan brushed his hand against Chris's skin and tried to wipe them away. Chris smiled at him, laughing through his embarrassment. Jonathan leaned forward gently kissed Chris, not caring that Chris's lips tasted a little salty from the tears that had slid down so far, only worrying about making Chris feel better.

And Chris knew Jonathan would always be there to lift his heavy heart.


End file.
